(Closed) How to gently ask your boyfriend to diet?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I think you’re already doing everything you can by suggesting you eat light or go to the gym together. Anything more would risk making him feel like you don’t accept him as he is. He has to want to get fit for himself. 

Post # 4
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Perhaps try having a talk with him about the health conditions in his family? My fiance has put on some weight lately (so have I), but his family have many, many health risks, whereas everyone in my family seems to live until they’re 100. I brought it up in a bit of a joking manner with my fiance, and talked about how I hoped he didn’t end up any of his family’s health problems, and that he should take care of himself, etc. etc.

That seems to have worked better than pointing out that he’s put on weight – he usually just laughs and jumps up and down to see his stomach jiggle Yell

Post # 5
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee

It sounds like it’s something he’s sensitive about, so I would maybe try the following:

– asking him to take an evening walk with you. (You can frame it maybe in the way that you’d feel safer if he came with you). Bonus is that you have time just the two of you to chat and connect.

– prepare clean, healthy meals for him. Maybe start making his lunch for him as well. eating lean doesn’t have to mean salad. My Fiance and I often grill up a piece of fish and eat it with asparagus or carrots, and skip the starch.

– do what you can to keep junk food out of the house. If it’s not here, we don’t eat it because both of us are usually too lazy to go buy it.

 

At the end of the day, weight loss is something he has to do for himself. You can’t police him 24/7, so even your best efforts might fail if he buys himself McDonalds every day.  

Have you shared with him your concern for his health?

 

Post # 7
Member
284 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Gosh, I guess your guy really is sensitive – What I recently said to my Darling Husband was “good lord, we’ve become giant moo-cows since we got married, it’s time for no carbs and the gym!”  he also carries his weight in the ‘heart-bad’ middle. Maybe you could say something like “honey, i think you are the sexiest man on the planet and I love you with all my heart – and I want to keep you for the next 50 years, so we both have to get healthier.”

Post # 9
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Maybe frame it as needing a partner in your own weight loss. I know for me, I am a lot better at eating well when Fiance is on the bandwagon with me!! And if you live together eating healthy can be something you do together. 

Post # 10
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Same way he would ask you.  

Post # 12
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Laur12:  First, stop calling it ‘dieting’. Diets don’t work. The second you stop, you’ll gain the weight and more back.

It’s about a lifestyle change. Can you get a membership at a gym or something? Maybe do a team sport? It helps if you do it together. My bf and I are doing that and I am not a big fan of exercising, but am slowly getting into it. We push each other.

I’d just be honest with him. Tell him he carries his weight in the middle, you’re afraid he’ll die of a heart attack, and you want the both of you to lose weight/be healthy together.

Post # 13
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Are you kidding? I always make healthier versions of food and when he asks for more cheese/meat/whatever, I tell him that I love him so much that NO, I will not give him more because I want a nice long life with him. He shuts up and eats it as I make it. Be firm, mama!

 

Post # 14
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee

@Laur12:  Well, we are all immortal when we’re young. πŸ™‚

You are already doing the most important thing you can do, and that’s setting a positive example for him. Keep up the good work. He’s lucky to have such a caring partner.

Post # 15
Member
1755 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Maybe suggest that you both commit to living a healthier lifestyle together as your New Year’s resolution.  That it’s not about losting weight, just about committing together to live healthier lives so you’ll have a longer life together entering your marriage.  Emphasize health rather than weight and as something to do together.

Post # 16
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Has he ever had a cholesteral test? I ask because my husband is the same way (not really that big, maybe a little more pudge in the tummy) and we recently applied for life insurance. They require blood tests for that. His cholesteral was sky high! That really motivated him to change his diet and exercise more frequently. If he is tested that could be a nice 3rd party way of letting him know he needs to take better care of himself – numbers aren’t an insult they just reflect the reality of the situation.

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