Can you really meet someone? Yes, you can. Online dating is just like dating IRL. But you can meet more people, faster. Good people are online, bad people are online. Just like IRL, there are good and bad.
But aren’t they all crazy, lying, ax murderers? No, most are really nice, truthful people. But some are crazy, lying ax murderers. But are you going to tell me you’ve never met anyone IRL that was crazy or a liar? You just have to be careful (meet in a public place and forward their info to a friend) and trust your instinct.
But every time I look, I don’t find anyone I’m attracted to. They are all ugly or their profile is stupid. First, look around you. Really start to pay attention to the people you see at Starbucks or the grocery store. How many of them are you attracted to? There are lots and lots of unattractive people in the world. This is no different in the online world. But the best part of being online is you know those people are single and interested in dating. Also, if you aren’t finding anyone on one dating site, go to another—hell, go to all of them. Just keep checking back, you never know who is going to sign up today. Remember, it only takes one…
But it’s so much work… Dating, putting yourself out there, takes effort. But online dating gives you the best odds. Dating is all about numbers, meeting enough people to eventually meet the one right person. Anything that is worth it takes time and effort. Don’t think of every wrong guy as the reason you shouldn’t be online dating. Think of it as being one step closer to the right guy.
Be truthful in your profile, but put your best foot forward. Choose nice, recent photos, but no glamor pictures where you don’t look yourself. And make sure one of them has your full body (but not a bathing suit).
Your profile should be light and humorous without trying too hard. It should mostly be about you with only a few lines about what type of person you are looking for. A profile should be like a marketing campaign, you want to ‘sell’ the best parts of yourself that differentiates you everyone else.
When you talk about yourself, don’t list “duh” things like “I like romantic comedies”. Umm duh, you are a girl. That doesn’t make you any different from a thousand other girls.
If you are going to list your favorite things, keep the list short. When guys would list all 100 favorite sci-fi movies—snore! List things that make you different or unique.
When you do mention what you are looking for, leave out things that are “duh” statements—I want someone who is honest, umm duh! Talk about the things that will make one guy different from another. Do you want sporty or geeky? That kind of thing.
Check out the competition. Look at the women’s profile in your age range, in your area. What are they writing? The joke you think is hilarious might also be on 10 other women’s profile- yeah not so funny anymore.
When you look at guy’s profiles, try to look past some simple mistakes or bad writing. But don’t waste your time if it’s really bad. If this is their best foot forward, they should put the time into making sure it’s good.
Don’t let guys ‘wink’ at you. Lots of ‘drive by winking’ out there. If you don’t have the time to read my profile and respond to *me*, then I don’t have time for you.
Don’t ever IM if you are interested in more than just chatting. People will chat and chat just because they are bored. They have no intention to date you and will never meet you. Don’t waste your energy. Unless you are also at the place where you aren’t ready to meet, and just want to harmlessly flirt—then chat away.
Don’t spend too much time emailing back and forth. And don’t give up too much information. Try to meet up within a week or two of initial contact. No use getting attracted to someone online, only to realize that you aren’t attracted to them IRL. Also, revealing too much info before meeting makes the actual meeting awkward. There is a reason small talk was invented.
Practice good online dating karma—if someone emails you and makes reference to something in your profile, write back even if it’s to say, “Thank you for you nice message, but I don’t think we are a match. Good Luck”. Ignore all the ‘drive by messages’ (U R cute, email me back…)
Have fun and don’t take it too seriously.