(Closed) How to Get FMIL involved in wedding planning

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Why not have your Fiance sound her out and find out if she wants to be involved in the process at all? Some don’t. Mine couldn’t care less and in fact has actively avoided it.

Post # 4
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Are you sure she wants to be involved?  It might be tough for her to help from a distance.  Just something to consider.  Don’t be bummed out if she’s not receptive.

Also, talk to your Fiance.  He knows her best.  What would she be intersted in?  Flowers, decor, photography?  That’s a start “Hey Mother-In-Law, Fiance told me you’re great with floral arrangements… would you like to help me decide on flowers?” 

As far as building a relationship with her, the distance will always be tough.  Stay in touch via facebook.  Make it a point to call her once every other week/once a month.  Send her photos, cards, etc. 


Post # 5
541 posts
Busy bee

DON’T DO IT! Save yourself from the beginning of a lifetime of conflict. Ok I’m just kidding. Kinda. But I’d suggest not using the wedding to bond with her, at least while getting to know her. Maybe just call her up and ask her advice on something else like a recipe or gardening or something else that your Fiance suggests.

Post # 6
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

I would go up to her and be like “I don’t know if you want to be involved but if you do maybe we can start sending each other emails and texts about wedding stuff.  If you don’t want to be involved than I understand.  I just want to make you happy with your role in this.”

Post # 8
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

I’m kind of with the others: make sure this is a box you don’t mind opening. Can you feel out your other future sister-in-laws, see how their planning is going? You can get a feel for your mother-in-law’s ‘style’; i.e., if she’s supportive but lets you make the decisions, or if she is overbearing. I’d give her small stuff to handle at first, like maybe calling some venues for you, etc.



Post # 9
753 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m in an awkward spot where I’m someone who’s very efficient and gets stuff done early (we’re 6 months out and I’m finalizing a lot of diy decor details)…so getting help from others is difficult for me. Mainly just because if it’s a task that involves patience and time I’m all over it and get it done. Whereas if someone else does it…it may be done last minute, and that could potentially limit our options. And when it comes to friends and family I have a difficult time encouraging them to get stuff done sooner…especially since it’s a favor to me. 

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