(Closed) How to get Hubby to help around the house?

posted 7 years ago in Home
Post # 17
7553 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

We decide (together) what stuff needs to be done each week and decide what we’ll do together or separately. He can do his part when he wants and I can do the same. 

Post # 18
4014 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@colorofmyheart:  YES, for the win! Bwahahahaa! I’ve threatened this before, I may do it one of these days


@vanike:  this would totally work for my FI! Thanks for the idea! He hates losing, you should see him when I beat him in Mario Cart!

Post # 19
1075 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Fiance helps when I’m stressed out, so I rant about things every so often, like: “OMG, it’s just too much right now…aaaaaand I forgot to do laundry, great.” Next thing I know, he rolls me up in my blanket, tucks me in for an afternoon nap and loads the washer for me 😀


Post # 20
9282 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013



when Fiance moved in with me, i told him he needed to be responsible for some chores around the house.  i told him to pick a few things that he wouldn’t mind doing.


while he doesn’t love cleaning the house, he does take pride in keeping the house well maintained.


he doesn’t like to do dishes and cooks many of the meals.  i got tired of not only cleaning on his cooking days but cooking and cleaning on my cooking days.  i could brood at the sink or simply ask Fiance to help.


problem solved.


we get along really well with him cleaning up after himself.  sometimes i have to point things out but he is learning after being on his own for so long.



Post # 21
3460 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Wish I knew!  Mine even gets upset at me if he thinks I’m spending too much energy & time on cleaning (without him) because the bustle disturbs him.

Post # 22
1178 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I stopped cleaning and Fiance got sick of the mess and started doing all the cleaning. now we both do it because he realized it sucks :]


Post # 23
3181 posts
Sugar bee

I asked Darling Husband to clean the dog hair from all my stuff after he used the blow dryer on the dog on top of the counter. He “cleaned” but it was still everywhere. I got mad at him for doing a half a$$ job and let him know. I proceeded to clean off every bit of dog hair from all over my stuff (it was everywhere!) but left the piece on his toothbrush and embedded it even more when it almost fell off. I think he got the picture.

ETA: We also clean the most important things for us – for me, it’s laundry, the bathroom, and the dishes, for him, it’s the kitchen (but not the dishes), and the living room. Our bedroom just looks like a gigantic mess.

Post # 24
11744 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

positive reinforcement. I started praising Darling Husband for every little thing he did and over time he started doing more and more.  I guess he really likes how happy it makes me and how much I appreciate it!

Also, don’t criticize him if he doesn’t clean something to your standards.  If you don’t like the way he cleans, you’ve got to just do it yourself.

Post # 25
1181 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I agree with pp. Don’t criticize, even if it’s not how you would do it.

Lots of thanks and praise.

Try to help him out too, by taking on the tasks he doesn’t like (and then giving him the ones you don’t like!)

My hubby walks the dogs at night and all weekend, does the laundry, does the dishes, washes the windows/mirrors, vacuums, gets the mail, and does the yard work. I walk the dogs in the morning, do the cooking, handle the bills and grocery shopping, mop, scrub the bathrooms, and clean the kitchen. We trade off on dog washing and dusting. 

Post # 26
2807 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@misschickpea:  i hid the router once. that was fun. but it worked.

it’s a better solution than yelling.

Post # 27
10363 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Chore Wars (it’s a website! look it up).

My husband helps without being asked, though, so maybe i’m not the best resource. The whole “you make a mess two, and we are equal human being so here’s the vacuum” conversation might be in order, though!

Post # 28
47 posts
  • Wedding: June 2012

I don’t ask him to help a whole lot around the inside of the house. I do not want him in my kitchen. I can never find anything after he has been in the kitchen. But he does help out with laundry. He does most of the work outside the house and on all the cars and fixes anything that breaks. To me that is a fair exchange.

Just ask him to do little things and progress from there.

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