Post # 1
So, I’m trying to get back in shape by doing the Shred and possibly Insanity at some point (we’ll see) and I would love my boyfriend to join me. He’s gotten a bit of a belly now that wasn’t there when we started dating (I’m not trying to be superficial, I’m just saying) and I’m worried about his health. All he eats is fast food and he does no excersize what-so-ever because he works in a consignment store that sells furniture and he says he is super strong and inshape from moving furniture around all day. He is still very strong, but I’m worried about him. I know he’s not happy with his growing belly because he makes fun of himself about it, but he still refuses to workout with me. I’m working out for myself; I want to feel great and be proud of the way I look. I just wish he would, too.
My question is: How do you ladies do this? Do you and your SO workout together, seperately, none at all? How can I motivate my bf into working out? (I’ve alread told him I’m worried about him and he just keeps saying he doens’t need to do anything except what he does at work.)
Post # 3
Do you cook for him? You can definitely help by making him healthy meals. And if you make him lunch to take to work, he won’t have to get fast food there.
In terms of exercise, people who do physical jobs often don’t feel like working out at the end of the day. And with good reason! Stuff like that can be exhausting! If you’ve ever worked in retail, you can begin to understand; being on your feet all day is really tiring. Now add in a bunch of lifting/pushing/whatever, and it’s easy to understand why he doesn’t want to do any more exercise.
Now, with that said, what if you and your SO pursued an activity that wasn’t just “working out”? Could you play a sport together? Shoot hoops at the park? Go on a hike on his day off? He’d probably be open to that, because it’s fun!
Post # 4
My Fiance and I work out together every morning (well … most mornings :D) … and it has been working really well with us. Both of us are okay with our body but know we can be better and healthier – especially me and my family history (high blood pressure, heart attack, high cholesterol, etc).
And I agree – cooking healthy meals can be a good start and as far as motivating him – I guess it’s kind hard sometime to motivate someone if the person doesn’t even want to – I guess you don’t want to come across as nagging ya know what I mean? I agree that instead of ‘working out’ maybe you can go on a biking trip together a few times a week, do an hour walk after dinner together – sometime I get so tired with the whole ‘gym’ thing so we tried to do other things like biking and hiking and stuff like that. Also, have you considered getting Wii Fit? That game is fun and you can do it at home.
Post # 5
Peanut eats what I cook, which helps a lot–I pack his lunches and snacks. Actually he’s a way healthier/better eater than I am (I have all the info but some emotional/mental baggage around food and I am working my way through it; he is incredibly helpful), but doesn’t think too much about what he puts in his mouth, so I help with that part.
However, left to his own devices, he wouldn’t exercise. We signed up for a race together and that helped a lot! Knowing we both had to get our workouts in, we did most of them together. We’re both extrinsically motivated and natural competitors, so even though we didn’t run fast or anything, we (he especially) felt motivated knowing we could compete against the other runners.
I am trying to get back on track since I sort of fell off the wagon post-race, and he did, too. He’s not really excited to get back on track since we’ve lost daylight, but I am finding success if I ask to do something concrete and short with him–like one level of the Shred–during the week, and then we work out together on weekends.
Is there anything non-workout-y you can do together on weekends? Like go for a long hike, or try rock climbing or swimming? Other than making exercise more a “movement” activity than “I am exercizing” my best trick is breaking it into short blocks, like the 25 minutes for a Shred video or the 45 minutes of NMTZ or even a walk around the block with a flashlight in the evening.
Post # 6
I have a similar issue – my fiance doesn’t eat that much fast food, but he complains regularly about not being in the shape he was in a few years ago. It makes me so sad to see him like that, plus I love weird health food stuff and would like his company at the gym.
I actually have to be SUPER careful what I say, though, since I’ve had issues with disordered eating and compulsive exercise (to the point of being more upset over missing a workout b/c a relative was in the hospital vs. the actual family emergency…. yeah it was really unhealthy). I don’t want my pressuring him to end up being detrimental to my own health.
If he’s really lugging furniture around all day, he probably does get a fair amount of exercise. I think the bigger issue is that he’s not eating very nutritous food… do you do a lot of the grocery shopping and/or cooking? I think that’s a place where you can help without it being a pressure scenario.
As far as what we do for exercise, I usually work out alone. If we go play sports (ultimate frisbee) it’s together, but on the days there’s no game, it’s almost always me alone. I’ve tried to drag him, but it feels like a chore and never lasts long.
Post # 7
Fiance and i work out together… i stareted going and then he wanted to get back into it so i suggested we go together and he was all for it. its awesome because there are days that i dont want to go and he pushes me to or visa versa. We go sunday mornings before football and then mon-thurs right after work.
we dont actually work out together, but we go together…the hardest part of working out to me is just getting mysef to go…once im there easy peasy so its great to have a buddy to count on.
Post # 8
Hmm we went backpacking together a couple times, maybe we could start hiking together, I think he would go for that (he likes outdoorsy things).
I only cook every once in a while because I usually work nights. And we SUCK at grocery shopping. I guess this is my fault because I’m so indecisive… He’ll ask me to pick out some food I want and I’ll end up with one or two things. We went grocery shopping last night and when we got home we wanted to make dinner and we’re looking through the $140 worth of food we got for something to eat right then and he says, “Dang, we didn’t really get any food.” I had some fruit picked out for myself and my bf got Oreo’s, and then there was a bunch of small, not really food things (peanut butter, mustard… etc.) So I guess I could start picking up more healthy stuff when we go to the store, but it’s a question of Will he eat it?
And I could definitly start making his lunches again, I used to in the morning and then I was sick for a while and he went back to fastfood lunches and hasn’t asked me to make his lunch since then.
And it’s true, I’m trying to hard not to nag him or say anything hurtful to him. I don’t honestly think he’s fat right now, but I think he probably will be in a few years. And yea, I guess I can understand him being tired after work, but he’s usually texting me saying how bored he is!
I will try what you guys said, thank you so much for your advice!
Post # 9
Menu planning! I am a total sucker for impulse purchases at the grocery store so I sometimes have to shop with the boy since he helps me with self control (*blush*), but menu planning is so so so helpful.