(Closed) How to get my bridesmaids to buy the damn dress already

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Give them a date to have them by, say middle of January.  If they don’t have them by then, you can start to freak out a bit more.  Sorry this causing you so much stress:(

Post # 4
1610 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I understand that you’re worried about hte dress going out of stock etc – which is a legit concern – but have you tried explaining that to your bridesmaids?  Because from their perspective, I’m guessing they think July next year is AAAAAAGGGGESSSS away and they probably think they have plenty of time and don’t need to rush it.  Perhaps if you just gently explain to them that you’re concerned and why, they might hurry along better.

Just to keep it in perspective, my wedding is the end of March 2014 and my girls and I haven’t even gone shopping yet.  Admittedly that’s because my Maid/Matron of Honor is in another country and won’t be over here til the end of next month, but I still feel like we have plenty of time.  Your BMs probably just don’t see any need for urgency right now.

ETA – I like the idea of giving them a set date to ask them to get their dress by.  Good way of putting the onus on them without being too forceful.

Post # 5
24 posts

Not sure where you are getting the dresses from but some bridesmaids dresses can take 4-6 months to get them without paying rush fees or the possiblity of prices going up or a dress being discontinued. 


Give them a deadline date to have it ordered and stick to it. I understand having to save money but it shouldn’t be that difficult. It’s selfish and lazy and uncaring in my book. 


Send them a note. tell them what you expect and maybe you need to put added incentive that if they can’t get the chosen dress they won’t be in the wedding? Sounds mean but 3-4 months after choosing the dress is more than enough time to have it ordered. 

Post # 6
30388 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@DelilahDiamond:  There are so many other things to worry about. I suggest you let this one go. If they get the dress, they are a bridesmaid. If they don’t, they attend as a guest.

This is their problem to own, not yours.

Post # 7
2449 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@DelilahDiamond:  Just tell them you are doing a follow up.  XX and XX have thier dresses, can you guys purchase soon so we are in the safe zone, we know it’s available in your size- to make sure you all have the same?  Much appreciated!!

Post # 8
1262 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

@DelilahDiamond:  Just give them a deadline that they need to have it ordered by and explain that it takes a certain amount of time for the dresses to come in and need time for alterations if that is needed. I wouldn’t harrass them though :). Also, if either are losing weight or expecting some body changes then they might be waiting a little bit (I was in a wedding last year and bought the dress pretty early to the point that I went down two dress sizes and luckily the store manager decided to let me exchange it for a smaller size, which they don’t usually do, but I think it’s because either way I would have had to get it altered since I am short and bridesmaids dresses that are long are made for ladies that are around 5’7 or so). Try not to freak out yet 🙂 It’s not even November yet … Though the one that is saving for it, if it is really bothering you, maybe you could offer to lend the difference and she could pay you back.

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