Post # 1
One of my BMs runs a photography studio with her husband. They were not our wedding photographers for several reasons (including but not limited to the fact that I wanted them to enjoy themselves instead of work and the fact that there was a language barrier between them and the rest of the guests), but they took tons of pictures that I’m sure are stunning. Her husband is amazingly talented. They promised me that they’d post the photos on Facebook as soon as they were all processed.
Well, it’s been nine months, and I know the pictures have been processed. Their daughter took a bunch to school with her to do a show-and-tell of her trip, and I’ve been told they have one of the photos on display in their shop. However, I haven’t seen a single one.
I’m very aware that I’m not legally entitled to the photos in any way, and I know that any pictures I got from them would be a huge favor to me on their part. Since I know the pictures exist, though, I would really like to at least see low-res Facebook versions of them.
The issue is that I only rarely get to talk to this Bridesmaid or Best Man because she lives on the opposite side of the planet, and between the time difference and both our busy schedules, we’re lucky if we get to chat online once every few months. I want to ask her about them again (I’ve only mentioned them once or twice since the wedding), but I also don’t want to come off as nagging her about them each time I talk to her.
Any ideas on how I can ask her without coming off as a nag? She’s my best friend, and I don’t want to hurt any feelings. I would just love to see the photos they took.
Post # 3
If she’s your best friend, surely you know how to ask her? I would simply ask by email. With kids life can be very busy, and perhaps it’s been so long since you’ve asked that she doesn’t think they’re important to you.
Post # 4
@paula1248: She doesn’t check email often, which makes it difficult. When we do talk, it’s never for long because she either has to go help a customer (she’s always at work when she’s online) or I need to go to bed because it’s already oh-God-thirty in the morning.
I also always get nervous about asking favors from her because I don’t ever feel like my language is polite enough, especially these days when my Japanese skills have gone so far downhill (Japanese is our main form of communication). I feel like I’m saying, “Yo, wench, gimme my photos!” instead of “Hey, remember how you said you’d post those pictures? Would you please post them? I’d really appreciate it!”
It’s probably silly, but that’s how I feel. Sigh. :-
Post # 5
You could perhaps write a letter? They’re kind of old fashioned and can be a bit stuffy and impersonal, but at least you could get your Japanese right. Of course in the letter also talk about life in general, what you’ve been doing, and thank them for coming all the way for your wedding, etc.
Post # 6
I had a similar situation, though a little different. I asked for photos by mentioning that I was working on a photo book for X occasion and that worked. I’m not sure about the cultural barriers though…
Post # 7
Agree with the Previous Posters, some good ideas on how to communicate there
Here is another thought…
If they are Professional Photographers there is a good chance that they have a website for their stuff… you might want to click thru it and see if anything turns up there (then at least you’ve gotten a taste of what they were able to achieve).
Oftentimes I find that Photographers will highlight their art as well as their work (the latter they get paid for, the former they do because they love it). I’d think your Wedding might have fallen into the LOVE category, so maybe some artsy stuff made it to their website. Worth a shot in the dark (lol, pun intended)
Post # 8
If she is your best friend. I guess you can just ask her. I guess she wants to give you the photos and if you see it as a great favour, fin I good way to thank her. A present or somthing?
Give her a easy way to send you the photos. For example create an album on http://www.photago.com and give her the info about the album and she can upload the photos easy from home.
Post # 9
@GreenEyedMoon: Write her and say that you are thinking of them and wishing them well, that you heard your photo was on display in their shop and you were wondering if they might share that photo and others with you pretty please before the holidays. Say you’d like to use the images toward a holiday gift for one of your family members or whatever. This puts a time limit on it and makes it more…concrete of a request I suppose instead of just allowing her an infinite amount of time to respond about it already.
While it is true that you are not legally entitled to the photos, they are not legally entitled to advertise using your image for their business unless you’ve agreed to it. If she/her husband has a problem sharing your photos, then you should have a problem with their using your image in their shop without asking you and with a written agreement with you to do so. This is where things get sticky and you probably don’t want to go that route, but I just wanted to give you that perspective, too.
Post # 10
@Cornflakegirl: Oh, I don’t care that they’re using my image at all. Their studio is on a tiny tiny tiny tiny island where I lived for two years, and everyone and their mom knows me. The fact that seven of those islanders traveled to the US for my wedding together was the biggest news to hit the town this year. I think she and her hubby would have been mobbed if they HADN’T put up a photo. They’ve displayed pictures of me before, too, so it’s not a new thing.
@This Time Round: No website. Since they’re in such a ridiculously tiny town, they don’t have to really advertise their stuff. They’re the only photographers in the area. I think you’re right about it being pictures they love instead of their work. It was my friend’s first trip outside of Japan ever, so all the experiences were completely new.
Thank you for the ideas, everyone!
Post # 11
Maybe you could send a nice letter thanking them for coming & include a photo of the two of you as we’ll as a flash drive in a pre-addressed, stamped envelope? That way you take the hassle & financial burden off her without having to rely on email, FB, etc…
Post # 12
@soontobesaieed: You, dear lady, are a genius.
Post # 13
I don’t really understand what the problem is if this person is close to you. Methods of communication include- phone call, text message, email, written letter. I don’t understand any photographer who doesn’t use email effectively, it’s our most common form of contact between people.
Post # 14
TO continuumphotography: If you’ve read the whole topic, I think you’d understand that the issue is unique. What we might see as a simple issue in North America in this situation is quite different half-way around the world in another culture and circumstance (example… email may be HUGE here, but not necessarily so the world over)
BUT as the OP said, the primary stumbling block is that English is not the language that the OP and the Photographer converse in… also in that Japan is a “very proper” country (in regards to decorum and protocol), the OP is concerned about saying something incorrect in a language that isn’t her mother tongue and offending her friend. Honestly THIS makes a lot of sense to me, so I can fully understand WHY she posted this topic for guidance.
Post # 15
@This Time Round: I read the whole thing… but how is anyone going to give her any advice different from what I mentioned?
Post # 16
Well call me crazy, but I’d just call her up and ask her. What’s the worse that will happen?
- You say nothing and you don’t get your pictures.
- You say something, offend them, and still don’t get your pictures.
- You say something, and they send you your pictures.
Seriously though, just say,
“Hey guys I am so glad you were able to make it to the wedding, it really meant a lot to me. I know it’s a busy time for you, but I was wondering if you had by chance been able to process any of the images you took at my wedding. I know how talented you are, and I’m so excited to see them, you guys do awesome work!”
I just can’t imagine what would be offense about that?