(Closed) How to get over a disastourous wedding

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1735 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think this is an instance of time heals.  

Post # 4
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

What’s done is done… you can’t go back. Don’t do this to yourself. Just try to think of how you felt the moment you said “I Do” to your Darling Husband. That’s all that should matter.

Post # 5
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

This happened to me too. I wish there was something I could say to make it better, but unfortunately I think the only way to get over it is to actively avoid focusing on it (easier said than done) and let time pass. I rarely think about my wedding anymore, but when it does come to mind, I still feel sad and I’m not sure that will ever go away.

Post # 6
Member
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

We had so many mistakes at my first wedding it was like a circus (lost music, lost marriage license, hair fell after I left the salon, officiant dropped the ring, etc….)  A year later the mistakes were what I liked best about the wedding.  I took each issue in stride and dealt with it or got over it on the day of the wedding.  Now I am able to laugh at all of the things that made me mad that day.

Post # 7
Member
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@VAwife:  +1 I know everyone just says think about being married and how great it is, but it sucks when something you put so much into doesn’t work out. I think it’s just an instance of time heals as a PP noted. I’m sorry you’re still so sad over this. 🙁

Post # 8
Member
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m really sorry, especially about your cousin. It sounds like that just started everything on the wrong foot, was that the case?

I’ve been married a few months now and still have some bad feelings over our wedding due to some very bad family stuff that went down at that time. It’s so bad that during our recent engagement anniversary I asked my Darling Husband if we could celebrate that every year instead.

I guess I just try to move past it, and hang on to my favorite memories of the day.

Post # 9
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

I’m so sorry to hear your wedding didn’t go well, date twin! And I’m especially sorry to hear of your loss. For what it’s worth, Fiance and I had a pretty terrible honeymoon. I came down with food poisoning, and then we got word that his grandmother had died. (She had been ill and was in hospice, so it wasn’t a surprise, but still a really sad thing to have happen.) We curtailed our trip and went to the funeral instead.

Since then, we’ve been half-jokingly saying things like “Thank God the honeymoon’s over! Now we can get around to enjoying the marriage!” Maybe it will help to put a spin on it of, “we got through our ordeal of a wedding – now it’s time to enjoy being married!”

It also helps if you can let go of the rhetoric that your wedding is supposed to be the best/most perfect/most important day of your life. I’ve always been skeptical of that, because why would you want to peak on Day One and have the rest of the marriage be anticlimactic? So, if the wedding was rocky, think of it as assurance that you will *definitely* have better days to look forward to.

Post # 11
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

You have to let it go.  It was one moment in time that didn’t turn out the way you imagined.  You can’t rely on any event, person, thing, etc. to ever make you happy.  People place too much emphasis on things we can’t control.  You happiness is not tied to that wedding.  🙂

Post # 12
Member
576 posts
Busy bee

I’m sorry to hear about your cousin. How sad. 

For what it’s worth, you looked beautiful (I went and looked at one of your previous posts). I don’t think any wedding is perfect, it sounds like you had several hiccups throughout the day. I would be disappointed in the pictures as well, but unfortunately it can’t be changed. You just have to find humor in the situation (may take some time for that to happen).

And keep focusing on the fact that you are married to your husband now, that is the best thing in the world!

 

Post # 13
Member
1294 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

why dont you plan a cute and elegant vow renewal on your 1 year anniversary? you can start planning now and it will take your focus away from how upset you are. this is a matter of time healing things.. as a PP said.

But if you have a small but beautiful vow renewal, you will have a “wedding memory” to cherish 🙂

Post # 14
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

These words probably wont change how you feel and my heart goes out to you in regards to the memorial table.  My partner and I are thinking of having a similiar thing as there are a number of people who wont be with us that day who should be, like both sets of our grandparents, and both our dads, and I know how important it is to me and her to remember them on our big day. 

 

BUT, this aside… 

 

I saw your non-pro photos and thought you were one of the classiest and most tasteful brides I’ve ever sen.  You looked really elegant and happy. 

Post # 15
Member
2023 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m sorry… that just stinks.  I dont think I would be over it yet either.

but for what its worth – I also think that you looked beautiful in your photos!

Post # 16
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Happy7:  Find a new thing to focus on.

Of course this really sucks, but I guess this is why I struggle to understand why women put SO MUCH emphasis, money, time, and importance into one day where so many things can and do go wrong.

At the end of the day, you are married to a wonderful man. That is what a wedding should be about.

I think you just need some time, and to focus on new things. Can you plan a vacation? Or even a long weekend away somewhere? Just the 2 of you.

Try not to be angry. A lot of the things you describe (except the photographer’s screw ups) sound like you can’t really blame anyone. Shit happens. Try and focus on the positives… I am sure there must have been some.

I think you will gradually get over this. *Hugs*

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