(Closed) How to get over a rude bridesmaid and future SIL?

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

That stinks! I am dealing with a similar unresponsive bridesmaid for my sisters wedding – we still don’t know if she’s standing that day because she won’t get back to any of us, did not attend the bach party and will not be attending the shower (we’re assuming since no one’s heard from her).

Since she is a future SIL, if I were you I would just relax, send her an email with all the info about ordering the bmaid dress with a deadline. The next time you see her ask if she got the email and if she has any questions. If she doesn’t order her dress by the deadline (which you will know, right?) send her another email or call her to let her know it’s okay if she doesn’t want to be a bridesmaid. I would pretty much leave the ball in her court and don’t expect anything from her.

Sometimes I feel like bridesmaids, especially those not close to the bride or younger – never been in a wedding before, really don’t think it’s a big deal to not be involved in normal ‘bridesmaid’ activities at all. I’m sure she’s not trying to hurt your feelings, she probably just doesn’t realize what she’s doing.

Good luck and keep us posted!

Post # 4
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Also, are you close with FMIL? You could always mention something to her or ‘confide’ in her that you don’t think Future Sister-In-Law wants to be a bridesmaid and ask for advice. It’s good that your FH is chasing after her for an answer, but if she has both your FH and Future Mother-In-Law on her case about getting back to you she might be more likely to respond.

Post # 5
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Oooh @moderndaisy’s suggestion was WAY better than anything I was going to say 🙂

Do that!

Post # 7
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Hang in there!  I was on the opposite end of the stick last year. I was the Maid/Matron of Honor in my brother’s wedding and the bride didn’t do most of the work.  I scheduled appointments with vendors, found shoes, centerpieces etc.  It was crazy! She would email me to say can you call so and so?  Like I had nothing better to do. 

I would get all upset over things and vent to my mom.  She kept reminding me that I need to keep the peace and just do what she asks so because we were about to be family.

So I guess I’m saying try to remain calm and remember that not all of us are super planners like you and me and care about this type of stuff.  Do what moderndaisy suggested and vent to us here!

Post # 8
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think it’d be good to talk to Future Mother-In-Law about it, depending on your relationship with her.  I know my Future Mother-In-Law would get his sisters going if either of them were doing something like that!  That was really generous of you to give them those giftcards, by the way, especially for such a re-wearable dress. 

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