Post # 1
I am 23, i moved out on my own for the first time at 19, after a horrible breakup and needed some space. six months later i moved back in with my parents when depression cost me my job, then i got a new job, moved out again at 20. Moved back in when my grandpa died and my grandma needed a place to stay, so i gave her my house and moved back home. Now i have my permanent home and i am set to move in the day after Christmas of this year. That gives us 5 months to fix it to our liking and whatnot. I love living on my own, that is not the problem here. Its living with him. I love him dearly, i honestly could not imagine my life without him now, and by Christmas we will have been dating for 20 months, engaged for 5 months. I know what i want, but now that im getting it and it is very real, not just something to discuss, im terrified of the prospect of actually living with him. I know that a life with him is what i want. How do i get over this anxiety? I have never lived with a guy before, so i think it is the fear of the unknown, of non-reversible change. Ive never slept in the same bed with a guy except with my fiance on camping trips. Please, any advice you can give me would help! I have five months left!
Post # 3
@TheSpoons: Can you do sleepovers now? Like more than a few days? You might have a better idea of what you’re like together in a more living together type situation.
I think it might help you to discuss your fears w. your Fiance. It’s possible he has the same fears. I think it’s natural to be a bit afraid of the unknown, of the potential of losing some freedom, etc. and I won’t lie – it is an adjustment and won’t be puppy dogs and rainbows all the time.
I think talking about your habits and routines before you move in might help a bit. Do you like to go to bed at the same time? Are you both morning people or night people? Does one of you love to cook and the other hates it? Do you plan on having most dinners together? How often do you plan on going out by yourselves, with friends, as a couple? Etc. All these things are important, but keep in mind that even if you’re not on the same page w. these things, you can still make it work. You don’t have to be exactly the same.
I do think though that if you have a better idea of what to expect, the transition will be easier. There always are some growing pains, but if you want to be together, you’ll get through them. It’s about respect. Neither of you should be demanding, but at the same time, you will have to compromise on some things as well.
Edit: Just a few more tips… try to keep the spark alive by not doing gross things in front of each other. Close the bathroom door. Give each other some alone time. Make sure you have separate lives in some ways so you miss each other.
Post # 4
Well we wont actually be together all the time even after we move in together, because he works 10PM to 6AM and i work 7:30AM to 4:30PM so the only time we can spend together is from 5:00PM to about 9:30 PM. He has agreed to cook all dinners for us, and i will do most of the housework except for dishes. Unless he finds a better job, it will remain this way even when we get married.
Post # 5
And no, we cant do sleepovers, because his parents dont approve of that and would not allow it (he still lives with them) and my parents dont care but wouldnt allow it in their home, where i still live.