(Closed) How to get over anxiety about living together?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@TheSpoons:  Can you do sleepovers now? Like more than a few days? You might have a better idea of what you’re like together in a more living together type situation.

I think it might help you to discuss your fears w. your Fiance. It’s possible he has the same fears. I think it’s natural to be a bit afraid of the unknown, of the potential of losing some freedom, etc. and I won’t lie – it is an adjustment and won’t be puppy dogs and rainbows all the time.

I think talking about your habits and routines before you move in might help a bit. Do you like to go to bed at the same time? Are you both morning people or night people? Does one of you love to cook and the other hates it? Do you plan on having most dinners together? How often do you plan on going out by yourselves, with friends, as a couple? Etc. All these things are important, but keep in mind that even if you’re not on the same page w. these things, you can still make it work. You don’t have to be exactly the same.

I do think though that if you have a better idea of what to expect, the transition will be easier. There always are some growing pains, but if you want to be together, you’ll get through them. It’s about respect. Neither of you should be demanding, but at the same time, you will have to compromise on some things as well.

Edit: Just a few more tips… try to keep the spark alive by not doing gross things in front of each other. Close the bathroom door. Give each other some alone time. Make sure you have separate lives in some ways so you miss each other.

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