How to get over resentment towards my future MIL?

posted 6 months ago in Emotional
Post # 31
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

The hard part is that at the end of the post OP says that his mom gossips about him too. I’m not really seeing the automatic loyalty here. pinkcorsage :  

Post # 32
Member
6441 posts
Bee Keeper

adriannamonet :  Mother-In-Law sounds like a narcissist. So in her eyes it’s loyalty. 

Post # 33
Member
900 posts
Busy bee

soexcited123 :  If your close friends gossip about others to you, chances are they’re also gossiping about you to others. If you’re entertaining it, it makes you fair game. I’m not sure where you assumed my close friends gossip about me. I keep a small circle of loyal friends; we have better things to talk about than spread malicious information about others. I mostly encounter gossiping at work, and I avoid it. People who gossip tend to avoid me too because I don’t engage it, and therefore, I’m probably a bore to talk to. 

Post # 34
Member
858 posts
Busy bee

Wow this was trippy reading this at first. Alot of your story reminds me of me and my SO’s mom a few yrs back (except the wedding thing). I wanna say you are human. It’s a natural reaction to express emotions when someone sympathizes with you. She broke down that barrier and used it against you. You felt like she was a friend and a 2nd mom.

However now you understand the issues that arise when you break boundaries that should be in place to begin with. You see your fault in it. Allow yourself forgiveness. Like I said, you are human.

Things in my situation have gotten so much better now that my SO enforces boundaries. He sticks up for us, puts her in her place, etc and she has moved across country. I’m mindful of what I say and how much interaction I have with her. It sucks- I mean id rather have a close relationship with her, but we can not control others and their behavior.

Personally I’d do your initial plan (maybe even elope) if invites werent sent out. For personal reason regarding both sets of mothers, my SO and I may end up having a private ceremony. This is your life, take control.

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