How to get over your first broken heart?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Hi Bee, sorry you are experiencing this. I think time is the only sure way of healing. Sending positive vibes your way 🙂

Post # 3
Member
624 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2018

The first love is always a tough one to get over, but very few people wind up with their first love. I’m sure most Bees here can tell you their story of their first love lost, how they felt they would never get over it, and then did anyway. Ultimately time will show you this was the best way. In the meantime, keep yourself busy. Throw yourself into your hobbies, try something you’ve always wanted to try, do something that feels good for you. Treat yourself kindly.

Post # 4
Member
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t think there are many women on this board who can’t relate to how you are feeling, and I know you won’t believe me when I tell you that things will get better. That, I can promise. When I broke up with the man I was truly in love with at 25, I just knew I would never love again…I didn’t think think anyone would ever love me or “get” me again. This world is huge, and that is just unrealistic thinking. It was my broken heart talking, just like yours is. The fact is, you will find someone else, and it will work out. When it does, it will become clear why it didn’t work with the man you just broke up with. 

In the meantime, you can’t truly expedite the misery of a broken heart. So, make use of this time. Get to know you again, brunch with friends, find a new hobby, enjoy being single because for all you know this could be the last time you are ever single again. Hugs. I know this is hard, but time truly fixes everything. You got this girl!!! 

Post # 5
Member
807 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2020

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mariaalbina :  I felt the same way with my last breakup. I cried everyday, write in a journal about how much I loved him, and prayed that he’d come back (I’m not religious at all). I was certain I’d be forever alone because I would never be able to move on. Six months later I met my fiance. Time is the key, but distracting yourself helps. I read a lot and spent time with friends. That helped keep me sane. You’ll be okay eventually, even if you don’t feel like it now. 

Post # 6
Member
11351 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
mariaalbina :  

There’s a song that’s been done by several artists, including Sheryl Crow called The First Cut is the Deepest.  It really is.  Losing your First Love is brutal.

The reason it hurts so much is because you have no frame of reference.  After you have survived a few breakups, you learn that you will hurt like crazy, but it will be temporary.  You know the wounds are survivable.  

Everytime I look back on a breakup, no matter how gawd awful it felt at the time, I am so relieved that I didn’t stay in that relationship.  

It’s trite, but true, time will work it’s magic.  Allow yourself to grieve the death of your relationship.  Don’t contact your ex, you’ll only hurt yourself worse in the long run.  Be gentle with yourself, do what you do to nurture yourself.

Post # 7
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee

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mariaalbina :  I’m so very sorry this is happening to you. Please believe me when I tell you, time will heal you. Stay strong, bee. Even when you feel broken, you’re stronger than you think. 

Post # 8
Member
10644 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

You’re gonna be fine.

I know that’s very simple but what you feel right now is what we all felt when our first serious relationships desolved. You’ll heal and move on and find someone else.

Post # 9
Member
613 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
mariaalbina :  Write in your journal. Cry. Talk to a friend. And while you’re at it, remember that you are worth loving. You have a lot to offer, and you are beautiful. Don’t dwell on the thoughts that your “destiny” was lost. It wasn’t. It’s a great big world out there, and God has a way of being able to create beauty from ashes; something out of nothingness. Don’t be flattered if he says he misses you. He had the option to be with you, and HE’S the one who chose not to. So allow yourself to FEEL all of your feelings and get them out in a journal and to a friend, but then remember to be kind to yourself and know that yes, this love was special, but the “true” love that lasts will be that much better. It doesn’t take away from the “sacredness” of this love…it just makes the lasting love that much more dear. I love this quote I read once…”Don’t let the one who didn’t love you keep you from the one who will.” Know that the next love will be different, and don’t try to compare them. Also…when you’re ready (take your time)…I deleted every email/text and threw away every letter and picture of my ex. I still have a scarf and a necklace he gave me but this reminds me I’ve been meaning to throw those away (it’s been soooo long I’ve just forgotten about them!). No reason to hold onto them. The sun will shine again, Bee…

Post # 10
Member
4240 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Breakups suck.  There’s no denying that.  It’s hard to deal with the ending of a relationship, especially one that was serious.  For the first week, be sad.  Be upset.  Be angry.  Feel however you want to feel.  Eat mac and cheese and ice cream for dinner if you feel like it.  Be GOOD to yourself.  Take CARE of yourself.  After a week, fake it until you make it.  Go out with friends, lead your normal life, even if it still hurts.  That is the only way you will be able to move on.  One day you’ll realize you only thought of him once, one week you’ll only find you thought of him once, and one month you will find you only thought of him once.

My first big break up happened when I was 24.  It was hard.  REALLY hard.  But I made it.  It took a long time, longer than I care to admit.  He still crosses my mind every once in a while and I wonder how he’s doing, but I’m very happily married and my ex and I broke up 5 years ago now.  Time is your best friend, you will get through this!

Post # 11
Member
246 posts
Helper bee

I thought I was in love a couple of times before I met my husband.

It is definitely hard to get over the end of a serious relationship but it makes you the person that you are and that person was the one my hubby fell in love with. 

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