- 5 years ago
I am not even sure what I am asking here.. Short version read the last paragraph.
earlier this year SO brought up looking for a job closer to me so we could move in together. GREAT! i was thrilled! He hasn’t had much luck as his field is mainly based where he is now. Our jobs are about 2.5 hours away from eachother. We live in LA = horrible traffic and even longer commutes.
THEN his sister (who he moved in with shortly after we met to help her financially and with her kids as she was going through a divorce) asks about moving to a bigger place and he was considering it. I was confused, but took it as him being bummed about not hearing back from a recent interview. And figured OK, maybe our circumstances aren’t the best right now to move in together, whats another year? (me trying to not be bummed).
So his sister messages me today and basically says he is getting older and she doesn’t want him to feel obligated to stay and understands we should be starting a life together. Plus the extra rent money he could save for a wedding or a house (i like the way she thinks). I explained our situation and she decided to stay where she is. I kind of feel weird like we decided for him…
Another thing is he has been bringing up marriage A LOT more and just last weekend he told me he is getting older and would want kids in about two years since “that would be enough time to get his life together” we agreed on three as I would be completely done with school (took a long break). But it is like… idk how do i get him to understand that these things don’t just happen? You have to save, you have to plan. I also explained I want to be married before kids which… yup more money would need to be saved. He isn’t bad with money, he pays all his bills early – he just isn’t a saver. How do i bring this up? I mean we have a general timeline, but I feel like he thinks things just will fall into place when they do. How do i make it more REAL to him?