Post # 1
i had such a lovely shower and I am thinking of ways I can repay all my lovely friends. I have lots of ideas for my bridesmaids and mom but there’s one I need some help with. I actually am feeling kind of bad about this so let me explain.
i have this amazing family friend called Jane. She gave us a very generous shower gift and when I started thinking back I realized she has been so generous towards us and I feel like it’s one sided and I want to be able to be giving back to them too.
So a few years ago Jane had her first baby and I went to her baby shower. I really didn’t have very much money at the time so I tried to give a really thoughtful gift, but it was quite modest. She was so gracious and happy when she opened it and I always appreciated this.
A few years later my stepdad was missing for 5 days. He is the most caring and reliable guy and she helped us search for him.
THEN I got engaged and she threw me a cute little picnic with her daughter and gave us champagne and fruit and cheese.
THEN last October her daughter got sick and she gave my fiancé and I Halloween train tickets. They were non refunable, I tried to offer her money but she wouldn’t take it, she just said she wanted someone to use them.
THEN she came to my shower yesterday and she gave us a very generous gift. She also made a really cute instagram story about my shower.
I really value her as a person and I will of course send a thank you card (I already bought them). I also invited them to our hotel and asked if we could make them dinner (she kind of brushed it off). I just feel like she has been so giving towards us and I feel like I would like to be generous towards them too.
i know gifts aren’t tit for tat or anything. But… I just feel uncomfortable when I think of all the really giving things she’s done for us.
Post # 2
Buy her a trip to the spa for some r&r. Get her some lovely treatments with a nice lunch and write her a lovely thank you note to go along with it.
Post # 3
First I want to say that, after reading so many stories of bad or difficult friends on this site, it was so heartwarming to read about your friend and I began tearing up.
Anyway, I get the impression that she’s somewhat older than you and isn’t a bridesmaid. You could honour her by having her do a reading at your wedding. I did that with an older female friend at my wedding. (Or, do what the first poster said).
Post # 4
Some people just really love to give and to be generous! Buying her a trip to a spa is a nice idea, or else a cookery workshop if she likes that kind of thing, or some other experience she likes. I would try again to invite her for dinner. But at the end of the day, if she doesn’t want anything, a card is adequate too 🙂
Post # 5
This was such a lovely post to read. I don’t think you should feel bad at all, your friend sounds like a truly kind natured person and we could all do with one of those in our lives 🙂
I would send the thank you card but also write a letter to say how much you appreciate her, you don’t have to list everything but say that her generosity and friendship are things that you are truly grateful for.
The idea of having her do a reading or getting a gift are absolutely lovely but don’t feel obliged, she sounds like the type of person that would hate the thought of you worrying about these things!
Post # 6
What a lovely women. It sounds like she is the type of person for whom the thought counts, rather than one who is worried about the cost of gifts. So I think a thank you card with a heartful message about what a kind and giving friend she is would be perfect.
Post # 7
She has previously included her daughter in the picnic she organized for you, and it seems you really enjoyed it. With that in mind, is there a hotel or restaurant near you that offers high tea? If all of you like tea, I would invite them to high tea, with all the works: fine china, silverware, those divine sandwiches, flowers, etc.
Post # 8
littlecats : Oh my goodness this is so sweet!
You’ve had some great suggestions provided by PPs here! Spa retreat, ladies’ high tea (I’m a fan), and asking her to do a reading! If it were me, and you had room for it – I think asking her to do a reading at your wedding and honoring her that way is a great idea, given she’s a long time family friend. I’d also want to gift her an experience like the high tea!
One other suggestion to throw into the hat – can you offer her and her spouse/partner a date night? Get them a gift card to a restaurant or a movie, and offer to watch her daughter? Very thoughtful and considerate of you you be asking this Bee 😊
Post # 9
Your friend sounds lovely!! Yes, like PP said, what a breath of fresh air after all the stories on the Bee! Your friends sound a lot like mine 🙂 I would suggest giving a reasonable gift in your price range (from a friendship bracelet to an Etsy pair of earrings to flowers) that’s personal to say thank you, along with a hand written card! Your friend sounds like she shows her affection openly by gifts. What does your friend love? For example, if she values quality time, treating her to brunch may be the nicest gift. Regardless of how you thank her, I think she will appreciate you showing her how much you care and telling we how important she is to you. I hope you ladies are friends for a very long time 😁
Post # 10
awww thanks! That’s really nice to hear! She’s actually a few years younger than me, so it pretty much only makes her that much more awesome!
Post # 11
Thank you so much everyone and for the sweet comments!
I’m maybe going to get her a date night for her husband with a note saying I’ve been thinking recently about how generous she has been to me and I wanted to get her something to show her I think she’s great! If she’s confortable I’ll maybe take her daughter to science world or something.
Ill probably do it separate from the thank you card because her shower gift was a cheque and I don’t want to seem like I’m just giving it back to her!