Post # 1
And by “oomph” I mean how to make it really spiritual.
Now I know that the mass is absolutely spiritual and perfect in and of itself, but if you think about it, you know what I mean. We’ve all been to weddings where the priest has the “this is my fourth wedding this weekend” expression and the groomsmen just look like they are ready for the party, and no one sings the hymns, etc.
I really don’t want that for my wedding. I want people to participate, I want people to be praying with us, I really want it to be centered on God.
Any advice? What are you doing to make your sure mass your mass is the most important part of the day?
Post # 3
I think it’s best when there’s the mix of traditional – you know the stuff that people associate wtih weddings and comfort them, like your grandparents heard the same words, your parents heard the same words, and many other people heard the same words at their wedding
But also personal – we wrote our own vows, and the prayer of the faithful, we met with the priest a bunch and he taught my husband in school so he wrote a very personal sermon, which was sweet of him and made it a lot less generic.
We kept the songs pretty traditional but just because I really like the Ava Maria and Cannon and all that, but I think that’s another place where if you’re not particularly attached you could make the ceremony unique.
Post # 4
We a printing a pretty detailed program explaining what each part means to us – why we picked the readings, etc. Some people won’t be Catholic and we feel this will make it more meaningful for all involved.
Post # 5
I think if you care about it, it will come through. I have been to a lot of weddings in the Catholic church where it was obvious the church was just a venue to the couple. Nobody singing. Nobody doing any of the responses. No sense of the sacrament at all. I wondered why they even bothered to have it in the church.
My fiance and I spent a lot of time praying about and planning the Mass because it was so very important to us. We spent hours going over the readings and choosing music (we kept the music quite traditional). We decided to walk down the aisle together as part of the procession, which is actually a very old Catholic tradition, but nobody had ever seen it before. He read the first reading (Prayer of the Young Couple, from Tobit) and I read the second reading (Romans 12, our “mission statement” for our marriage). We were very blessed in that our priest is the Best. Homilist. Ever. We memorized our vows. The singer and pianist I got were both Catholic and knew what was appropriate. I made it clear that I wanted them to lead the congregation, not entertain them. I printed the words of the songs right in our program, and made sure the parts of the mass were the musical arrangements that people were used to singing. I put an announcement in the parish bulletin about the Wedding Mass and invited the whole congregation (I was very involved in my parish and knew a lot of people wanted to come and take part).
It all worked out beautifully. I could just feel that people were involved, really hearing what the readings were, really listening to the homily, absolutely praying for us. I had a friend come up later and say that she could really feel the Holy Spirit’s presence.
Post # 6
@fontgoddess:Your approach sounds similar to ours. We put a lot of effort into picking out the readings.
We’re both walking down the aisle escorted by our parents. I’m not quite traditional (or non-traditional) enough to go down with my fiance, but I didn’t want to be “given away.”
We are exiting to “City of God” with everyone singing.
I plan on talking to the bridesmaids/groomsmen about making sure they participate (well I mean, if they want to) because I think people will probably follow their lead.
The priest and deacon that are marrying us are friends of my family
@troubled: We are having our friends and families write the prayers of the faithful, and then we are going to read them.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the mass. But you can’t really personalize it, and so I don’t want people to tune out because its the same exact thing at every wedding. I mean there’s nothing wrong with it being the same thing at every wedding, I just don’t want the tuning out part!
Post # 7
We did our best to make it personal for us and our guests. We chose readings that we felt best reflected us and our hopes for our marriage. We also took a lot of time choosing music and I also had the choir from my high school sing some beautiful pieces that really set the tone for the Mass. My brother, brother in law, sister in law and DH’s cousins did the readings and my brother and sister in law and my cousin served as Eucharistic Ministers. We also had communion under both species – this was important to me. The priest is a friend and he knows us both well and that translated well to the people in attendance and to us. It was a joyful ceremony – I didn’t want a weepy, somber wedding and I made that clear to the musicians, the musical director, the priest, the church’s coordinator – everyone! And happily we were blessed with a joyful day from start to finish!
Post # 8
PPs have a lot of the same things we did:
- chose our readings with a message in mind (I prayed about it first; Mr. isn’t Catholic, but was VERY active in the planning process, esp the mass b/c he understands & supports how important my faith is) – just ’cause I like hearing others’ readings, ours were: 1 Kings 3:5-15; 1 Corinthians 12:4-13; Luke 12:22-34
- create a worship guide/program that helps Non-Catholics with the service & shares with them why we chose what we chose
- chose music & musicians who are familiar with our parish & who also were willing to work with us to personalize the “feel” of the mass (we wanted to be inclusive of Non-Catholics, since nearly all of Mr.’s side are Non-Catholic)
- got guests thoroughly involved in parts of the mass (nephew & Mr.’s friend did readings; parents brought up the gifts, my grandmother – a Eucharistic minister at her home parish – administered the bread, while Monsignor administered the wine; Maid/Matron of Honor & Best Man are both practicing Catholics, so by participating, they led the way for other guests)
- have a personal relationship with the priest & deacon & musicians
- add cultural traditions (Monsignor wore a maile lei throughout mass, so did our wedding planner…he joked that it was the first time that he was the most decorated “thing” during a wedding)
- make traditional aspects of the mass as “personal” as you can without deviating from their intended purpose (wrote our prayer of the faithful to include people & messages important to us; when we took flowers to Mary, we did so in memory of our deceased grandparents & I asked her to intercede for their souls; asked Monsignor to include two parish traditions: to call up the children during the transubstatiation & to offer a blessing in lieu of communition for those not of our faith; Walked down the aisle as part of the procession, with each set of parents escorting the groom & the bride).
Hope all that helps!
Post # 9
@ jedeve – We are not doing anything extra during the mass to make it “oomph-ish”. As you mentioned, the mass in itself is very holy. Think about it..
During mass, when the host is consecrated, it becomes the true body and blood. During this time, heaven comes down to earth and we are all brought back and are united with Jesus and the Apostles in the upper room for the last supper. The sacrifice takes place at this time and we are joined with Christ in receiving Eucharist. What more could anyone possibly add to make it more “holy”?
With all due respect, just reflect and keep in mind that the Eucharist is more than sufficient in itself. So enjoy the mass, and know that HE is there with you…