(Closed) How to go about asking for gifts after civil ceremony!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

sorry, i don’t think there is ever a polite way to ask for gifts or money.

Post # 4
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I don’t know if there is ever a polite way to ask/imply for a gift. Maybe with your wedding announcment you can include a “we’re moving” notice and people may send a “housewarming gift”?

Post # 5
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

I think you will just have to wait until you have our marriage celebration next year. If someone wants to send something now, they will.  Since it sounds like many people wont be invited to this ceremony, it would be odd to request or imply you would like a gift from them.

Post # 6
Member
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

ummmm……

its been my experience that only close friends and family send gifts when they arent invited to a wedding.  also my experience that when you have the reception a year later, you wont get the same enthusiasm (or gifts) except for close friends and family.

so, unless you plan to shell out for a reception.  dont expect any gifts.  i certainly dotn send gifts for every “we’re married!” announcement i recieve. no dinner/dancing/celebration = no gift from me unless we are quite close.

sorry.

Post # 7
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I have to agree with all the other replies.  There is no polite or tactful way to ask for gifts…ever, really.  If your friends and family feel obliged to send a gift, they will; otherwise, you will just have to buy the things you need for your home yourself. 

Post # 8
Member
2561 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Yeah, I am with the other ladies, you might receive gifts from those who attend your civil ceremony, but I wouldn’t be sending a gift just for a marriage announcement! 

Post # 9
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

You really shouldn’t ask for gifts – people will be insulted. It’s okay to register in case anyone asks, but you shouldn’t tell them unless they ask.

Post # 10
Member
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I agree with the other posters – people won’t get you gifts just because you get married.  Most guests get gifts when they are invited to the ceremony/reception.  You’ll likely receive the gifts at your “public” wedding.

Post # 11
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

The only way to do this is to send a marriage announcement. People who follow etiquette rules will then find out if you’re registered and give a gift. We did this just recently for our friends who had a baby. They sent out a birth announcement so I immediatley went online, found their registry (you should NOT include this info in the announcement) and sent them a nice gift.

Post # 12
Member
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

fyi, even if i received a marriage announcement, this would leave a bad taste in my mouth.  marriage announcements seem like just another way to ask for gifts to me. 

Post # 13
Member
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Maybe have a house warming party?

Post # 14
Member
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Nope…..there is no polite way.  I agree with all the PP’s.  Your statement:

Because obviously if we’re moving in right after this civil ceremony- that’s when all of those gifts would make more sense to get!

implies that you feel gifts are expected.  Hate to break it to you but not everyone gives gifts.  Almost half of our guests didn’t give us anything….not even a card.

Post # 15
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Yeah unfortunately the previous posters are right.. I think you can only really hope to get most gifts at the actually wedding itself.  It wont sound right to the guests if you try to ask them to send gifts in advance of the wedding

Post # 16
Member
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

@Mrs. Meowerson: Announcements are fairly standard and generally most people understand that they’re purely there to inform, not gift-grab. You shouldn’t feel compelled to give a gift.  

To the OP, to reiterate Mrs. Alias, you can set up a registry; you just can’t advertise it. Those who want to give you a gift will either send one to you of their own choosing or call you or someone close to you for registry information. But unfortunately, if you don’t have a wedding, you’re probably not going to receive that many gifts.

The topic ‘How to go about asking for gifts after civil ceremony!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors