(Closed) How to go about having newborns at a child-free wedding?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
13014 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think you can leave it to the parents to come to you, or mention it if you think there will be grumbling.  We had only one child at our kid-free wedding, and the parents asked about bringing her when they responded.  Other than that, we had no issues crop up from it.

Post # 4
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I would probably write “John, Jane and Baby Smith” on the invitation so there’s no confusion. The three month old is your call but I would probably invite her. I would say any baby under a year shouldn’t be separated from their parents. 

Post # 5
Member
3720 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I have 5 babies who will be born between invitations and the wedding (and 2 more who will be born the week before our invitations go out). We are having a kids free wedding and wrote out the invites to “Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Baby Smith”. For a no-kids wedding I would leave the baby off and just follow up with a personal email after the invites go out.

Post # 6
Member
46413 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think it would be kind and thoughtful for you to contact the new parents  and let them know they are welcome to bring the babies. You will help them avoid that awkward decision-making about whether to call you to clarify or just decline the invitation.

I would also extend the same opportunity to the parents of the 3 month old. 3 months is quite early for many parents to be comfortable with a sitter, bottle fed or not.

Post # 7
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I think that if you allow some people to bring children and babies, and not others, it’s just bad taste.  How would the friend that has a child, who was told that they needed to find a sitter for their child, feel when they see other people were able to bring their kids?  While I understand this is “your” wedding, I assume that you want people to feel welcomed.

Post # 8
Member
648 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Bazingau:  I was thinking this too, that the situation is ripe for problems.

Post # 9
Member
1179 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Isn’t three months when most mothers go back to work from maternity leave AT THE LATEST?

 

I’m not a mother or anything so don’t quote me but a lot of mothers have a hard time getting 8 weeks off these days. I thought 12 was the norm for a maternity leave.. if they arent still breast feeding I would say at 3 months they can be left with someone for a few hours… especially since it more then likely is a weekend when the child would go to family and not just day care or some random sitter.

Post # 10
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Bazingau:  I believe she is only making an exception to the rule to allow those babies who are too young to stay w/ a sitter to come to the wedding so the parents won’t have to miss out.

Post # 12
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

@julies1949:  I agree. You don’t want to risk people declining because they feel uncomfortable about their babies, OP. 

Post # 13
Member
46413 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@gpsp2B:  The answer to your question is, it depends. In Canada, we get up to a full year or maternity and parental leave.

The role of a hostess is to make her guests feel comfortable. Offering them the choice to bring a newborn or get a sitter if they prefer would go a long way towards that.

 

It is perfectly reasonable to allow parents to bring babies up to 3 months of age, and request that older babies and children be left at home. 

Post # 14
Member
7736 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Gemma_Leigh:  As a parent, I think the cutoff should be around 6 months. For two reasons: below 6 months they are hard to leave (due to breastfeeding issues), and also below 6 months they are not mobile at all. Kids begin crawling at 6-9 months. I didn’t bottle feed, but I suspect a 3 month old would be hard to babysit anyway so you should invite allow the 3 month old even though she isn’t being breastfed.

@gpsp2B:  I’m guessing that’s paid maternity leave. Many women take longer unpaid maternity leave.

The topic ‘How to go about having newborns at a child-free wedding?’ is closed to new replies.

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