(Closed) How to go from big wedding to intimate elopement? (long, but please help)

posted 6 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Wow!  That does sound exhausting!!  I’m so sorry you have to deal with all that drama!  With the smaller ceremony would you also be having a small reception/dinner after…  or what might the plans be there?  Maybe a very small ceremony and then a week or two later a bigger celebration party where you could invite more extended family? 

I think you really just have to have honest conversations with your friends and family.  There may be a few hurt feelings but with weddings there always seems to be…..  🙁

Post # 4
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@HelloKello:  Honest advice, I would say elope – just the 2 of you!

That way at least everyone is in the same boat and won’t feel as bad for being cut from the wedding.


Post # 6
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

What about a destination wedding???  Would your parents/immediate family be willing/able to travel somewhere?

Post # 7
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Cancel the wedding outright, explain you will have a court room wedding.  Suggest that close friends and family get together for a non-formal celebration…  Have a surprise wedding there.  If you cancel completely, and then have a surprise, intimate wedding, you can have the wedding you wanted without any of the fuss of dealing with other people’s expectations!  And people will be delighted to be included! 

I don’t know where you live, but a few of the local bed and breakfasts have “elopement/small wedding deals.”  This is an example (which might happen to be in my town and I might have saved just in case I can’t deal with wedding planning anymore): http://www.acardinalhouse.com/page2.html

You can get married how you want to get married and include who you want to include.

Post # 8
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

Yay for sticking up for yourselves.

In regards to your cuzo….I say invite her parents and save SOME face. But make it clear to them that you are keeping your Guest list very small and everyone on it is VIP.

Post # 9
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I am in a similar situation so I might not be very helpful, but my opinion is invite your cousin not because she is a cousin, but because she is a close friend. Don’t invite her parents and just explain if you invite one set of aunts and uncles and cousins you would have to invite them all. I hope this gets less stressful for you; weddings are a headache!

Post # 10
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I can 100% understand where your coming from! I literally just did this … our small wedding of 50 people grew to almost 200 and we had some money offered but with condiditons we didn’t like SO we planned a small wedding we wanted THEN we told our parents/bridal party.

We talked to everyone who was in the bridal party chose a new Bridesmaid or Best Man & Maid/Matron of Honor (that’s a whole different story) and everyone was thrilled for us.

We have a few friends who have hurt feelings but they understood eventually.

We decided to have a party next summer with everyone though!

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