(Closed) How to go out for drinks when you don't drink?

posted 6 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@PrincessBride2014:  “I have to drive” “My stomach hurts” “I just don’t feel like a drink tonight” “I’m tired and a drink will make it worse” “I have a headache”…

It’s none of their business. I frequently don’t drink so I guess my friends are used to it (none of us really drink much)… but I’ve never had anyone question me as to why.

ETA: You can do something more fun than plain water… ask for a Shirley Temple (hehe I love those) or a virgin margarita or something. Not drinking doesn’t have to be boring.


Post # 4
2463 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

are you going to a place where you order from a server at your table, or at a bar? if it’s at a bar, you might be able to get away with ordering sparkling water or coke or something so it looks like a mixed drink but isn’t. soda water with a lime looks like vodka soda or g & t 🙂 

if they can tell though, you could say alcohol doesn’t mix well with allergy/migraine/some other innocent sounding ailment, or just that as you’re getting older alcohol takes less to make you hungover the next day

Post # 5
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Just have a tea or soda or something. I really doubt anyone is going to question you.

Post # 6
901 posts
Busy bee

Say you’re on prescription medication for something like allergies (not too personal) and have given up drinking for the forseeable future.

Post # 7
1583 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Just order what you want and say, oh, I am really craving a diet coke right now…Or I am super dehydrated, water sounds great to me today. And if you are offered a drink, all you have to do is say, no thanks, I am good.

ETA: I mean, you really don’t have to say anything, but those are some good lines if you feel like you must or if you are questioned about it.

Post # 8
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Just say you have been having tummy issues and you are sticking with a shirley temple! If they ask; I woudn’t even say anything otherwise.

Post # 9
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

Just tell them you don’t feel like drinking, or even just tell them the truth that you don’t drink. I’m sure they won’t care. If grown people start teasing and peer pressuring you, leave. 

Post # 10
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Why not just say “I’m not drinking anymore”? You don’t need to make up some excuse.

I’d order fun drinks like a virgin daiquiri or a Shirley Temple.

Post # 11
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@PrincessBride2014:  I did the same last year. I just completely gave up drinking. Still went to clubs, bars, parties with friends and I loved being the sober one. It was more entertaining watching the drunk people. haha. Made it more easy for me to stop drinking seeing I was probably one of those drunk people falling on the floor. lol But I always just told the truth. “I just decided to give myself a break from drinkin.” Especially being in my 20s my friends looked at me like I was crazy, but they didn’t care. 

No need to lie. I was proud of my decision and proud that I went so long without drinking. lol Just be honest. 🙂

Post # 12
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

I understand the concern that might be generated by saying “I gave up drinking.”  They might think you’re a lush or an alocholic.  Who cares?  If they say anything rude or negative they suck.  As an adult I do not let other people dictate my drinking activities.  I can and will drink as little or as much as i would like and if I choose not to drink it’s none of your business why.

You will probably get asked if you’re pregnant if you’re in the proper age range.  I say order what you like and if anybody asks just say you don’t feel like drinking.  If they pressure you, then call them on the peer pressure.  That usually works for me.  They probably feel guilty drinking around people who aren’t drinking and don’t know what to do with themselves.

If you are really nonconfrontational, you could get there early and order a soda at the bar alone before anybody else gets there and then just keep ordering “the same” from your bartender.

Post # 13
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@PrincessBride2014:  no alcohol means no alcohol. Just get a coke. I’m also pretty sure people would be very understanding of your one year off alcohol resolution. My Darling Husband quit soda for a year and people admired him for it.

Post # 14
1562 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would just go, order a club soda and lime, and not say anything or give any excuses. They may not even notice.

Post # 15
1044 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@PrincessBride2014:  I gave up drinking 3 1/2 years ago, and not everyone in my life knows. It can be very hard to dodge the questions because I’m sensitive about my sobriety- especially around those I’d get stinking drunk around.

I was just at a dinner party where no one knows I”m sober and was offered wine, I politely refused and asked for sparkling water… Another guest and wife said “oh, you two not wine drinkers? There’s vodka…. we can make you something else”. It went on for a little while. But we stayed strong, didn’t get flustered. We are also vegan and lived in LA for a while, so sometimes, I blame it on the- we are super healthy thing.

I’ve found that if you’re firm in your first statement of “No, I”m okay with water, soda, etc.” and then immediately switch the topic, you are safe. Go, have fun, don’t make a big deal about it in your head, and they probably won’t either.


Post # 16
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I gave up drinking 14 1/2 years ago (I am an alcoholic) and I usually either don’t say anything at all or I say “I’ve had enough” or make a joke of it. It’s not anyone’s business.

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