(Closed) How to handle +1s when not invited.

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1328 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Nah, don’t blame yourself.  Guests usually don’t concern themselves with etiquette as much as we do.  I>just< had someone add one to their RSVP when i stated “we have reserved 2 seats in your honor” meaning they had two seats, and rsvp’d for 3 (like seriously, wtf?)

 

I think he deserves a phone call asap (we called ours the next day) to be made aware before making any final plans with this uninvited person.   The way you said sounds good, but as I’ve learned, FI’s never say anything on the phone exactly the way you want them to =P

Post # 4
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee

You did the correct thing, in only listing who was invited on the actual invitation.  This friend is just a boor.  What does FH think you should have written on every invitation?  Bob Smith (Don’t bring a guest)?

I would call him up ASAP and just let him know that there has been a misunderstanding, and that you won’t be able to accomodate his guest.  You don’t want to wait, in case she goes out to buy a dress, or they make other arrangements.

Good luck.  These situations always suck.

Post # 5
Member
546 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

If it makes you feel any better this has happened to us three times so far!!!!!! Twice my Fiance allowed the guest and I said no to my friend who did the same.

Blaghhhh!!!!

Post # 6
Member
2742 posts
Sugar bee

My own friend asked me ‘bR, how come there’s no space for my bf?’ Being as I know for a fact that as of 3 weeks ago she was single, I told her to send me the name and address of her bf and I will send him an invite and she told me ‘Oh well, I just wanted to bring a friend that I think would love to attend’…. a friend that I don’t even know. ARGGGHHH!!! Anyhow, I think you should be there when you Fiance calls his friend and let’s him know that there ‘might’ not be enough space. Boys!

Post # 7
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

just say no – let people know that you have very limited space and their add ons are not allowed

Post # 8
Member
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I would call and say no. Even if FH says he is going to let it slide. I would call him myself, and make sure to let him know you would still love for him to come you just cannot have an additional guest.

Post # 9
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I had to tell a good friend of mine that the venue was small, and that my FH and I both have big families so were weren’t able to accomodate her guest. Even though her +1 is her child’s father, I never met him and they have an on again, off again relationship. I happily told her that I looked forward to meeting him at another time. 

Post # 10
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I had to tell a good friend of mine that the venue was small, and that my FH and I both have big families so were weren’t able to accomodate her guest. Even though her +1 is her child’s father, I never met him and they have an on again, off again relationship. I happily told her that I looked forward to meeting him at another time. 

Post # 11
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I just had the same thing happen. She’s one of our house party and is taking her mom on the trip to San Fran, I just didn’t connect that she wanted to bring her to the wedding. We’re letting it go because she’s been so much help. 

Post # 12
Member
2287 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: Central Park

Hi ______, we just got your RSVP and we’re excited that you will be celebrating ith us on our big day. I saw that you RSVPed with a guest, unfortunately with the size of our venue we will not be able to accomodate any additional guests at this time. If that changes then we will let you know as soon as possible.

 

If this is your FH’s friend then your FH needs to be the one to set it straight.

Post # 13
Member
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I personally think it is rude to invite someone and expect them to come alone.  I think taht if you invite someone, it is implied that they can bring a date. 

Post # 14
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@michiru4ever:  +1.  This is exactly how to respond.

Post # 15
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I think you Fiance can approach this in a “nobody is at fault” way without making a big deal about it. The prompt you gave him to do so is spot on, too (non aggressive, polite, and friendly)

The topic ‘How to handle +1s when not invited.’ is closed to new replies.

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