(Closed) How to Handle a Sticky Situation (long)…

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Are you deciding to not have them solely because you’re worried about having un even sides? Because there’s no rule that says the sides have to be even…but of course, if that’s your preference, it’s your choice.

Post # 4
Member
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m confused- you want advise but you don’t want us to tell you it’s rude?  Sorry to be snarky- I really am just confused.

Post # 5
Member
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

*advice

Post # 6
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’ve never understood the obsession with bridal parties being even.  Do people only marry other people with the exact same number of same-gender friends and family members?  I wouldn’t worry about a junior bridesmaid throwing off your wedding party numbers.  Now that you’ve asked them to participate, I’d go ahead with it.

Post # 7
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Eeks, I don’t know. IMO you have to think about the 12 year old. This isn’t the parents your going to just upset. She’s 12, not 3 where she has no idea whats going on. Right now she’s “So excited!” to be in your wedding, and your are going to say, sorry not anymore and tell her its because the sides are uneven. I don’t think I could do that.

Post # 8
Member
4150 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It’s embarassing to tell them “Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realize your children are too old to be the flowergirl and ring bearer in my wedding.” so I totally get your point of view.  I don’t think you should lie and say the un-even side thing though, because as the PP said, it’s not a rule to have even numbers on each side, and aunt might point that out.  The kids are probably really excited to be in the wedding…

My friend who just got married a couple weeks ago had a “junior bridesmaid” but she was not included in pics or at the alter so I think it was more of a honorary thing.

Post # 9
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I don’t think  you should hurt a 12-year-old’s feelings.  Keep her in your wedding.

Post # 11
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Not remotely.  Sorry.

Post # 12
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@Miss Taco Night – Sorry but I simply do not think its ok. Its not like your asking a horrible 20/30 something year old bridesmaid to step down, this is a 12 year old girl.

Post # 14
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I also don’t think you should hurt the children’s feeling. They excitedly responded to you with their acceptance on facebook. It doesn’t matter if the sides are uneven; really. If it matters that much to you, add another one where necessary. Personally, I would leave it alone. I agree with your dad.

Post # 15
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree, right now that little girl is so excited to be a part of your big day.  It’s not her fault you screwed up by not doing your homework before you invited them to be a part of it.  You’d probably crush her by uninviting her just because of her age, or because the sides would be uneven.  No one at your weddding will even notice they’re uneven.  And like someone above said, you don’t have to include her in all of the pictures, etc.

Post # 16
Member
2742 posts
Sugar bee

It’s her wedding. The 12 year old would get over it. I don’t think you should have her in your wedding if you don’t want to just to keep her happy and being that you probably see them once every five years or so….I honestly don’t see anything wrong in what you are doing. It’s not like you don’t like her physical features or something…yeah, I’m in the minority. Do what you want to do, but be gentle 🙂

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