(Closed) How to handle an appearance-obsessed sister-in-law?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 18
1436 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
karen45 :  Yeah just keep saying, i don’t care why she says what she says, and I don’t care what you say in response to her. Your private phone calls with her are something private. I don’t like it when she comments on my clothing all the time. It is none of her business and makes me uncomfortable. So if you two talk about it privately I don’t want to hear about it. Please respect my wishes in this. It isn’t that hard. I don’t need to hear your gossip, because that is what it is gossip. 

Post # 19
1184 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Wow. You’re controlling because you don’t want him to relay the unkind things she says about you?! You have a husband problem, bee.

Post # 21
1425 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

omg your husband sounds like a pain in the ass. Why does he feel the need to tell you about your appearance, about what his sister is saying about you on the phone, or that you are controlling? He just doesn’t want to take responsibility for misspeaking and saying something inconsiderate to you (childish). You fought for hours? Jesus. I would be so pissed if my fi pulled shit like that. I also try to refrain from mentioning much anything negative about his sis even if she is being a pain in the ass beacuse, well, he knows. And she ain’t gonna change. 

I would just be kind, but direct with her, ‘i didnt ask your fashion advice’, ‘I dont really care what people think of me’. ‘I dont need to dress nice for strangers’. Whatever you need to say so she will cut the shit or at least cut down on the shit. 

And I agree with other ppl that your husband needs to cut that shit with her on the phone, change the subject tell her Im not discussing. It sounds like he’s using what shes saying as fire to validate his opinion of your attire though which I take issue with.

My honey doesnt always have the greatest sense of style. He wouldnt part with a white tee shirt that he used for painting getting dirty and mowing the lawn in that was now literally gray. Im like ‘baby can you please toss this, its embarrassing, you have other shirts you can wear’ and he was like ‘but I need it for painting’ so I rolled my eyes and sure enough he came back down 5 minutes later and was like ‘you can toss it, I have others that were buried, you were right’. 

It sounds like you hubby has a problem with being direct and kind with you, ‘wife, I know you got that as a gift, but you have nicer bags’. Or whatever. 

Good luck!

Post # 22
679 posts
Busy bee

Your sister in law is annoying but your husbands behavior would be unacceptable to me. 

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