(Closed) How to handle an unreliable bridesmaid?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
3136 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

It honestly does not sound like you even actually like this person. Why did you ask her to be in your wedding???

Post # 4
Member
1895 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Honestly, I would sit down with her- or try to atleast, and ask straight up whats going on. Has she been this flakey in the past? It seems like she doesnt want to be part of the wedding. I understand if you were asking unrealistic things for her to do… but your not. Shes already married, so she of all people should be understanding..

Good Luck

Post # 7
Bee
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Father's Vineyard Church/ A Touch of Class Banquet Center

I had one bridesmaid that just didn’t show up to anything. Like she okayed a date for the shower (months in advance) and then two weeks before said she couldn’t go because she had planned her son’s birthday party that weekend. I understand your kid is important but a) you okayed this day, and b) your kid’s b-day isn’t for another 3 weeks, and c) (after the fact) you had another party for him on his birthday weekend, meaning you had two parties and missed out on the shower that you okayed the day for. The other bridesmaids made that day work for them despite having to give up concert tickets and a date, but you bailed. Then she didn’t show up to my bachelorette party that was held in the city she lived in and the date she once again okayed. Then she finally showed up to the rehersal, skipped out on the rehearsal dinner despite me paying for her entire family (four plates), and showed up late the morning of the wedding. Oh and then she was late getting to the rehearsal (said she wanted to drive herself and her kids) and didn’t get there until after the wedding party was announced (I sure as hell did not hold up stuff for her). I was so disgusted by how she treated the role with such little respect, that we don’t talk. Despite her being my cousin. I now know where she lies and I won’t be working to keep that relationship going.

Just look at it as now you know who she really is and how she sees you. It’s clear that she is more about herself than your big day. Unfortunately weddings often have a way of showing peoples real colors and it sucks.

Post # 10
Member
3136 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

@SaltyBride:  If she does not meet up, then she is giving you her answer in a very passive aggressive way.

Post # 12
Member
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

can you elaborate on her hygiene issues?

 

Post # 13
Member
3585 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

@SaltyBride:  #1 on your point-by-point list is: she’s cancelling on going shopping for your rehersal dress. It’s your dress. Not even a wedding dress.

I don’t see how that’s a reasonable expectation on your part. Sure, she should just say: sorry, hon, good luck with that but I can’t get loose from my life to do that task. Having clear communications helps a lot.

 

 

 

Post # 16
Member
1313 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2017 - Seattle, WA

This girl sounds awful!!  I can’t even imagine dealing with someone like this.  I’m sorry you’re stuck in this position.  The fact that you “were yelled at” by her on more than one occassion is a red flag to me.  I’ve never been yelled at by a friend before.  I think I’d cut her out of my wedding…and out of my life!

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