(Closed) How to handle being embarrassed by husband

posted 4 years ago in Married Life
Post # 5
46334 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

vanessa7:  Can you 100% guarantee that you will never say or do anything that will embarass your husband? If not, forgive and move on. If yes, maintain your superior position.

He wasn’t expecting the question, he blurted out an answer. Let it go

Post # 2
963 posts
Busy bee

I think maybe you blew it out of proportion. I think you just need to get over it. It wasn’t something to get this embarrassed about. I’m sure your friend thought nothing of it.

Post # 3
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

vanessa7:  Men do stupid things at times.  I would brush it off and hopefully you’ll do the talking next time.

Post # 4
4703 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I think you may be overreacting. Sure his comment was unnecessary but so was your over  the top response, didn’t want to get out of bed?

You can’t control what another human being says, you can control how you react to it.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by  KC-2722.
Post # 6
284 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I doubt anyone took this as that you are actually ‘poor’ – these days that term is often used as shorthand for ‘I don’t want to spend money on that’ (as in ‘do you want to fly to vegas this weekend? ‘ ‘sorry, no, we’re poor now, but thanks for asking’). Frankly, if I was there I would have thought it was a lighthearted and kind of amusing reponse to being asked for money at an event.  So I think you over-reacted, but I would also (gently, this is not a ding at you) note that even if you were *actually* ‘poor’, that is no reason to be embarrassed or humilitated. Behaving badly is a reason to be embarrassed, but a temporary (or even permanent) lack of monetary resources is not.

Post # 7
5221 posts
Bee Keeper

Wow, overreaction to the extreme. What he said wasn’t even that embarrassing, sounded just like a way to deflect from talking any more about finances. If that type of comment makes you not want to get out of bed in the mornings …. sheesh. Tough life ahead.

Post # 9
2746 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

vanessa7:  his response was definitely tactless and inappropriate. But, it sounds like you’ve made your point and he realizes his mistake. So, at this point the best thing for you to do is to let it go. 

Post # 10
6021 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017


vanessa7:  it stung? really? even that is pretty dramatic. I would let this go. Especially since you realize you overreacted. I guarantee you are the only one who is still thinking about this.

Post # 11
2363 posts
Buzzing bee

vanessa7:  I see where you are coming from, but if someone said that to me I would have just chuckled and went along with the night. I doubt the person he said it to really sat there and thought about your money problems. I think you are overdoing it a bit, but i think seeing how much this really affected you, he will think twice next time.

Post # 12
4439 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

Wow, yeah I’ve got to agree that you overreacted.  Not being able to get out of bed because your husband made a crack about you guys being poor?  Are your friends that stuffy that they couldn’t laugh it off?  You do need to worry less about what other people think.  I’m actually poor and I know that because I’m not invited to galas lol.

Post # 13
1478 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Yeah, it was a stupid thing to say. But jeez, let it go. What would you like him to do? Call up all your friends and explain to them that you actually are not poor and he mis-spoke?<br /><br />

Everyone says dumb things sometimes. Accepting that is part of life (and marriage).

Post # 14
9522 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I agree with you that H should have handled that differently, but it also sounds like you did overreact significantly.  Your friend probably did take it as little more than a bit of self deprecating newly married  humor. Even so, H provided information that was no one’s business, even in jest, so I am with you there.

TBH, the friend was also way out of line if, as your host, he really did shake you guys down for a credit card.  In that sense, he probably was the one who should be most embarrassed.  The most he should have done was to provide information as to how the auction worked if you were interested. But as a first time incident of its kind, I would have just spoken to H about privacy,  things that are no one’s else’s business, and the other ways he could respond if he’s put in that kind of situation in the future. 

Post # 15
1583 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

vanessa7:  You definitely overreacted. That was not a big deal and it sounds like you care too much about what other people think.

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