(Closed) How to handle “black sheep of the family” guests

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

Have you sent out the invitations yet? Usually, the event style is included with the invitation. I don’t think you should single them out. They are who they are. They probably don’t get out much, so hopefully they will see this as an opportunity to get dressed up and have a good time.

Post # 4
Member
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Leave it up to his mom to maybe try to push the point?  Maybe she can help the aunt get styled and buy a new dress for the big occassion?

Post # 5
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

hahaha thats a pretty funny dilemma.  (of course thats because i’m not having it)  I would tell the FI’s parents they need to oh so delicately inform them its a very formal wedding in a gorgeous upscale hotel.  i think if his parents lay it on thick, they will get the idea.  if they do show up looking like dirty hippies, make sure to tell the photog not to get them in any pics!

Post # 6
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Oh man, that’s rough.  I don’t think you or your Fiance should be the ones to handle it.  FI’s father, or mother (whoever’s sibling it is) should handle it, in as fragile a way as possible.  And if it fails, if they show up looking outta place, oh well!  They’re not really a reflection of you or even your Fiance.  Besides, you probably won’t even care on your wedding day. 

Post # 7
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010 - Ladder 15 Restaurant

I agree with caszos…try to get another family member to help them out if they’ll receive it!  

By The Way, I have an image of Pig Pen from the Peanuts comics in my head and I definitely wouldn’t want that cloud of dust wandering into my wedding!

Post # 8
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

FH actually has an uncle on each side of his family that fits this description. When his sister got married in a destination wedding this past year one uncle and his family got ready in a camp ground in porta potties.. It was interesting to say the least. My personal opinion is sit them near their family or your most opened minded guests and don’t waste time worrying about it. I think everyone knows and identifies with the fact that every family has a member that’s different than the rest.

Post # 9
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Oh that sounds awful! I agree with the other posters about getting someone from your FI’s family to groom them a bit…(:

Also, could they have some sort of medical condition? maybe the family should look into that as well.

Good Luck and I hope they shower!

Post # 10
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I agree with some other posters… I would probably employ your fiance’s mother or father (whoever is the sibling of the uncle) to delicately make the point. 

Honestly, ever family has its characters.  My Fiance has an aunt who has mental illness and is known to cause scenes at these kinds of events, and I have an uncle that used to be a drug addict, and likes to tell everyone he meets about rehab. 

I say just sit them with their own families who won’t be surprised ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 11
Member
316 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I wouldn’t worry too much about it. If most people know how they are, it won’t be a big surprise if they show up less than spiffy.  It also won’t reflect on you so I would just give them the benefit of the doubt and treat them kindly. Who knows?  Maybe they have the best personalities but are just not the most clean.

Post # 12
Member
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

i wish we were as nice as you! FHs aunt will make a scene/start a fight so shes not invited. i feel bad cuz i dont wanna hurt feelings, but i would be livid if she pulled anything. i agree to sit them w their family. itll be the easiest. good luck!

Post # 13
Member
1023 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Well lets just hope that they feel the need to dress up for the wedding and decide to sport clean clothes after freshly showering. I am worried about some family members showing up in ripped jeans and tees to my fairly casual outdoor wedding, I can’t imagine the prospect of that couple at a formal wedding. I don’t think you’re being snobbish either btw.

Like a pp mentioned, is the family sure they are just quirky and don’t care about the mess? They might have a problem that is distressing for them.

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