(Closed) how to handle “friends” who no-show after replying yes

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Wow. I don’t even know what to say. I just can’t comprehend RSVPing yes, not showing up AND not sending a card (or even emailing?!). I can kind of picture not showing up if say I got into a car accident or something, but to plan on not going after saying I would? Thats rediculous. I’m curious what advice other bees have for you though.

Post # 4
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

That sort of thing is really very awkward. Maybe call up the wife and arrange to go for coffee with just her at a neutral location. Have a heart to heart and just clear the air.

Post # 5
14495 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I would just forget about it and know that this couple is truly not your friend.  You would only be creating more drama by bringing it up 6 months later.  Just forget the incensitivity of these people and move on with people who truly value your friendship and support you as a couple, these people are worth your time and energy, not the no show couple.

Post # 6
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Let this go–are you really going to let people like that ruin your memories?  And stop adjusting your social life for them. They are the ones who should feel awkward.

Post # 7
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@mleshore:  Send them the bill for how much you paid for their seats, food, linens, etc.!!! Just kidding… 

I agree with Georgia Bee. THEY should feel awkward around you guys, not the other way around. Don’t avoid social situations with them, all you’re doing is making it easier for them to not feel bad about coming. I’m sort of an aggressive person and would probably purposely make a point to go to things. At some point maybe they’ll have to address it. 

Either way, they are not your friends. You invited them to the most special day of your life, and not only did they waste your money, they clearly disrespected you, in front of your other friends nonetheless. They’re just yucky people!

Post # 8
46416 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Two wrongs don’t make a right, as my mother used to say. It would be wrong of you to bring up the issue. Stop avoiding social occasions because you might run into them. You are giving them way too much power over your life.

If you run into them and they apologize, which they will likely do, don’t say ” That’s ok we understand”. Tell them, ” It’s good to finally see you guys again. We were afraid that something drastic had happened when you didn’t show up for the wedding.”

Post # 10
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Wow, how rude of them.  I agree with the PPs, but I wouldn’t ever bother trying to clear the air and talk about it with them.  Just let it go and know they are not your friends!

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