Post # 1
My Fiance and I, as well as the rest of our families and friends are lovers of good wine. We will be having beer/wine at our reception after our fun backyard wedding this October.
My grandmother, who has been like a mother to me, is a complete teetotaler. Her daughter has a wine cellar in her house, which she keeps hidden because my grandmother can’t handle the presence of alcohol. Apparently my grandmother was abused by an alcoholic father, and as a result, can’t tolerate alcohol around her at all.
I desperately want them to attend the wedding and reception and feel comfortable and have a great time. At the same time, this is our day and we want to enjoy alcohol with our (100+) mature friends and family members as a part of our celebration.
What to do? Any ideas for how to not offend my grandmother or make her feel uncomfortable with the presence of beer and wine?
Post # 3
I’m afraid I don’t have very great advice. My sister had an open bar and half our family cleared out really early because of it. Maybe you could serve dinner without alcohol and then just serve it after or something? Sadly, there’s really not a perfect compromise on this one :(.
Post # 4
You’re not forcing anyone to drink and she should realize that. Just make sure to have plenty of non-alcoholic options (lemonade, soda, coffee, etc). Beyond that, it’s up to your guests to enjoy themselves with the hospitality you offer.
Post # 5
I have no idea. I’d just say have lots of options for non drinkers, not just water and tea, so they can enjoy some fancy fruit water or something like that. My sister in law’s mother is very religious, and felt that paying for someone to drink, like offering an open bar, was totally horrible. They had a cash bar instead (and her mom wouldn’t even walk by it!). Good luck, sister.
Post # 6
Id say just talk to her about it. Let her know there will be people drinking and how much it means to you for her to be there. Its your big day and I hope other people having wine doesnt stop your grandmother from being there. Good luck.
Post # 7
Thank you everyone for the advice. I really favor the idea of just talking to her up front, and hoping that she understands. They’re almost 90 years old, so chances are they won’t stay very late anyway, right?!
Thanks so much for your input. It’s been very helpful!