- 8 years ago
- Wedding: August 2010
Looking for sympathy, but mostly advice.
My mom has been begging for us to get married for the past several years. Now that we’re engaged she doesn’t seem very interested. That would be okay, but now every time I ask her advice she says I’m making too big a production of everything. I’m planning the entire wedding for 100+ out of town guests where I live, with my fiance, family, bridesmaids, etc. all living at least 1000 miles away. That means rehearsal dinner of 30+, day-of lunch for 20+, next-day breakfast for 20+ in addition to the wedding, which requires us to do table, chair, decor setup.
Last night’s conversation included her saying cheap paper plates would be fine, and why in the world would I want to assign tables/seating (after reading everyone else’s horror storeies I want to ensure everyone can sit with their friends who are coming from all over the country). This morning’s email was we should not have a laid-back take-out-sandwich lunch from our fabulous caterer at our outdoor wedding site, but a full sit-down lunch (in a town where the restaurants do not have accomodations for this) that we will have to schedule in between setup and hair appointments (and hope lunch in served on time so we aren’t late). I will have two bridesmaids with infants to add to the hassle of a restaurant lunch as well. Tonight’s email is to request an air conditioned tent – we’re expecting weather in the 80s and not humid at all.
So, enough complaining. Now, I need advice. How do I plan the wedding without including her and without making her feel bad? I do love her and my parents are paying for most of it. My Future Mother-In-Law is great – she’s planning the rehearsal dinner and is so good about figuring out what is needed and also feasible and affordable. My mom is a total stress case about ordering sandwiches. I’m afraid my mom is going to make the next 6 months miserable and I’m afraid she’s going to spoil the wedding day, which I want to enjoy with my out of town friends, not to mention my fiance. Can I not see her all day until the pre-wedding photos?
Thanks in advance for advice.