(Closed) How to handle rude guests?!?!?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
46681 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It is rude of them to add an univited guest, but it would be equally rude for you to lose control on the phone.

Call them up. Use the lather , rinse repeat technique mentioned on an earlier post today.

I:    “Hi, it’s Ink, I’m calling because we received your RSVP.

G:     Yes, S and I are really looking forward to the wedding.

  I:    I’m sorry, we will not be able to accomodate your guest”

G:    But S and I have been dating for 3 months now. I can’t leave her at home.

I:    I’m sorry, we will not be able to accomodate your guest.

G:    I’ll pay for her dinner.

I:   I’m sorry, we will not be able to accomodate your guest. We are having an intimate wedding with only close friends and family.

G:  I would feel bad leaving her at home.

I: We’ll miss you if you can’t attend , but we will not be able to accomodate your guest.


Post # 4
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

exactly what julies said.  

Post # 6
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

Omg that phone call sounds really uncomfortable how julies described it lol. Repeating the same genaric line over again 3 times? I suppose that works and thats why the DOL and Passport office used the same trick on me!


I think you should get your family to call them for you and explain in a kind way that you sent out invites considering the largest amount of guests you could afford to pay for and accomodate space for, and when you made the list you didn’t know of their plus one’s. And although you cant wait to meet them, your sorry but you just dont have room, and you couldn’t even invite everyone you wanted to in the first place for that reason so you’d feel bad inviting guests you dont know over those you do but didnt have space/resources for.

Post # 7
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I wouldn’t pawn it off onto family members.  I would just be honest and tell them you cannot accomodate them.  Unfortunately, being repetitive is usually the only way people will get it through their heads that you cannot afford to have additional guests.  I would make the phone call, let them know that you received their RSVP and while you wish you had the space to allow everyone a plus one, you unfortunately do not.  If they try to fight you on it, be empathetic, but don’t back down.  People always try to take advantage. 

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