(Closed) how to handle rude people

posted 9 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

That’s horrible.  I don’t understand why people always feel that they can ask such personal questions.  “when are you getting married” is one thing, but “when are you going to have a baby? that’s beyond. I can’t think of a snarky comment to give them but I would tell them that it’s somthing me and my husband will not be sharing with others. 

I guess if you wanted to be polite but bug them , you could ask them an equally offensive question.  You know, answer a question with a question. Like, “so are you still seeing a shrink?” or “are you still on a diet?”  I know they seem rude and I wouldn’t be able to pull them off, but if I was really upset, I might be able to.

Good luck.

Post # 4
Member
1944 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

You know, in the last week, I have had someone ask me…Are you pregnant, your belly looks a little round? NO! I am just bloated thanks to mother nature. Ok, so when are going to start, your not getting any younger, dont you here your clock? Me, um yes, but I am a beleiver in my faith and an avid planner, so when we are blessed with it and are ready! FWIW I am 29! (Had a little body image problems for a few days after that)

2 different people with 2 different responses to our house we are building. Wow, how can you guys afford such a large house? Man your mortgage must be through the roof! Can you handle that? Well not that its any of your business what our actual mortgage is, we saved for a long time and you know that wedding you complained and whined about not be invited to because it was immediate family only and very simple and small? The money we saved from having a huge bash went to our dream house! It was more important! But on the flip side, someone said, with as much as you have been saving and budgeting, I would think it would be bigger! Give me a break people its 2,500 square feet! We live within our means!

I also had someone ask me what my rings cost, out of the blue and someone not close to me, how our marriage works and what do we expect in the long run since Darling Husband and I work 2 jobs both and I am also in school and hardly see each other, doesnt that hurt you? You know what, we have had this schedule since the beginning and it works for us! We have learned to appreciate each other and our time!

I am not sure I have a response to the next rude/nosey comment made, I feel I am just going to knock whomever it is to the ground. Just venting, its been a rough, rude week! I just dont get people these days. I was always taught to keep opionions to myself unless asked and to never be rude. Well I am going to start being rude back.

Post # 5
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

ugg I try to tell myself that people are just trying to make conversation, even though it really bugs me when people ask me about certain things.  My fiance lives in Sweden and we have been together for 4 years (one year together in Sweden, two years of him in Sweden and me in California but visiting summer/christmas, and one year together in California)  Yes it’s not the best scenario but we work hard at our relationship and we have been faithful to each other and commited to eachother 100% whether we are on the same continent or not!

That being said, my favorite annoying question I get is this one: “Oh your fiance went back to Sweden… Don’t you miss him?” 

Umm yes people… of course I do!  And thank you for bringing it up because now I would rather be with him than with you… What am i supposed to say to that question.. “No i don’t miss him at all, thank heavens he is so far away from me!”  Gee!  This post is good for venting! haha

Post # 6
Member
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

When people ask me that, they get ONE “benefit of the doubt” pass.  The first time, they get “John and I will have kids when we’re ready to be parents.”  Very pleasant tone.  Pleasant tone goes away next time.  The annoying thing is the one person who keeps pushing is my boss.  Geez.

Post # 7
Member
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Honestly, I think people ask questions like that because they are genuinely curious. Many people think the next step after getting married is having a baby. I don’t see it as a rude or nosy question, I see it as a conversation starter. Maybe I’m just an open book, but I’d be honest with them (whatever your honest answer is.) If you’re waiting a few years to have kids, tell them that. If you’re having fertility problems, tell them you’re keeping your baby-making plans between you and your husband at the moment.

Post # 8
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

when people ask me when we’re going to have a baby i tell them that we’re going to focus on getting married first.

Post # 9
Member
888 posts
Busy bee

can you just say “one step at a time” or something vague like that?

i don’t know how to respond to questions like this either – they are rude and none of anyone’s business! esp about having kids –  what if you can’t get pregnant and desperately want to – that’s not my situation personally but jeez – what if it were and people are asking you about kids all the time? 

 

Post # 10
Member
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I’d probably just say “I am guessing about 9 months after I get pregnant.”

Post # 11
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

ugghhh baby questions all the time!  if i so much as have a headache my boss asks “are you pregnant???”   and hubbys family insists on shoving poor unsuspecting children into my arms at all fuctions, telling me “this time next year, it will be your baby”

best one was at hubbys aunts funeral and the very orthodox priest spent his time telling me at the wake that it was my role as a wife to do as my husband says as he is head of the household. yes, my hubby IS the head of our household but only because i let him!

 

Post # 13
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

LOL … my FH came up with a good one a while ago for the “when are you having babies?” question. To set the scene, my grandma is now 92, and on her birthday she was in the hospital, so we had a little “hospital room” birthday party for her.

My aunt asked me and Troy when we were going to have babies … he said “well the room next door has an empty bed, so if you guys are so eager we can go get working on it right now” Everyone laughed, but no one has asked us since!

Post # 14
Member
3332 posts
Sugar bee

People ask us this all. the. time.  I’m getting past the point of wanting to honor their request with actual reasons.   Honestly, I started out giving real reasons and lately I just say nothing and sort of ignore the comment.  I don’t know why everyone thinks they have a say in such a big choice!

Post # 15
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I get the question a lot and the crazy thing is it’s not from either family or from my friends or co-workers, it’s from HIS friends!  They were asking me when we were going to have kids before we were even engaged.  I just say we’ll have them when we have them.

Post # 16
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

You should say ‘We’ll we’ve been screwing everynight-keep your fingers crossed!”

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