Post # 1
So I have an ‘ex’-friend who I have recently cut off from my life. She is getting married in 90 days and my room mate (also her best friend) just told me that her and her friend found her fiance on Tinder. I’m not sure how Tinder works, which is why I’m posting here, but they found him today on the app. They confronted her about finding him about a year ago and she completely popped off on them. So okay, maybe it just hadn’t deleted in the system or something. Now, a year later, the same friend found him AGAIN.
They want to tell her because she is getting married in three months, however, they don’t know how to go about it. So I guess I have a few questions: how should they go about it (she’s going to freak out on them) and how does Tinder work if you delete your app/account? Can you still pop up on other’s feed? Or do you have to remain active to stay an active account? I heard from another friend that if you are inactive for X amount of time, you get a notification to log in or you’ll be deleted.
Note: I’m staying out of this. The two girls who brought it to my attention are better friends with her (as I’m not even friends with her anymore lol) and besides them telling me, it doesn’t involve me.
Post # 2
I would seriously not provide them any input/advice at all. You just don’t want your name associated with this mess.
Post # 3
I would take a giant step back and not involve myself at all. There is no way that any of that is going to have a good outcome. And if she’s not your friend anymore, you really don’t want your name involved in it.
Post # 4
I agree with PP, don’t get involved at all. If it comes up again change the subject.
Post # 5
I agree with PPs that the best option is to not get involved with this at all, even just in advising her friends in what to do.
If she were my friend though (or if you really want to give them some advice), in this situation I would just try to bring it up in a very casual way. Along the lines of “X popped up when I was swiping though tinder the other day, how weird is that?” And then just move on. No making accusations, no trash talking her fiancé, just putting the information out there in a neutral way and then moving on.
Figuring out how deleting Tinder accounts work is way beyond anything you need to be getting involved in though.
Post # 6
I also say don’t get involved as you’re not friends anymore.
Post # 7
I agree with the others. If this is someone you have completely cut off from your life, don’t get involved at all in any discussions or drama about her. If they want to do something, they can, but I would steer completely clear of it. You don’t want the blowback. You’re better off not knowing anything they do or say.
Post # 8
Agreed with everyone. Just stay out of it. I am curious how the tinder thing works though. I’ve never been on it.
Post # 9
you aren’t friends with this person anymore. stay out of it.
Post # 11
She’s probably going to marry him and she may cut off anyone who tried to tell her about her husband being on Tinder. There’s nothing for you to do here. Hopefully, she will have friends who she can reach out to when she finally leaves him.
Post # 13
Agree with PPs: not your problem.
Post # 14
roseandcoil : just stay completely out of it. Tell them to handle it however they see fit.
Post # 15
I agree with PPs, stay away.
But I’ll just chip in for knowledge sake, I met my Fiance on Tinder. We deleted the app from our phone when we got serious. Just last week I told my then-SO that I wanted to just check Tinder again for fun, cos my friends told me they have so many new features.
Anyway, my FI’s account is still active and I could ping him if I wanted to, along with my previous convos I had with other guys on there. I don’t know how long till the account will be deleted but it’s been 2 years for the both of us and I could still see him. and all my chats