How to handle stress over MOH

posted 1 year ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
4579 posts
Honey bee

Let’s break this down – what would stress you out if she dropped out last second?

Post # 3
5307 posts
Bee Keeper

You sound like a good friend. I think anyone would stress if their MoH flaked out at the 11th hour, and your concerns that she might do this are well founded IMO. I’d talk to her again to make sure she knows how important it is to you that she show up. Then I’d have a backup plan in place in case she doesn’t. 

Post # 4
3045 posts
Sugar bee

This is a really tough situation. I agree with pp that you sound like a wonderful friend who’s really tried to make the bridesmaid role as easy as possible for your friend. You’ve been sensitive to her needs at every turn and understanding even when she flakes on big events for you.

I do agree that it’s more likely than not she will flake out on your wedding at the last minute. But you’ve already talked to her about your concerns and she brushed them off, so I’m not sure there’s any point in revisiting the subject. So, you have two options: kick her out (as gently as possible obviously) now, or just do nothing and brace yourself for the inevitable. I’d probably choose option B because she sounds fragile and I just wouldn’t want the drama or guilt of kicking her out…I’d rather it be her decision even if it happens at the last second. 

Do you have other bridesmaids to stand up with you?

Post # 5
1991 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Agree with the pp”s.  Go forward assuming she’s going to flake and have a backup plan.

Post # 6
4579 posts
Honey bee

There really is no back up plan and that is okay. If she flakes, then you have one less bridesmaid – no biggie. It absolutely sucks that she might not be there as she is a good friend, but her mental health and your continued friendship are more important than pressuring her further.

I would just try to accept it now and be pleasantly surprised if she is able to make it.

Post # 8
9 posts

You seem like a wonderful friend who is very considerate and thoughtful.  I think I’d just let it play out as it is. Keep reassuring her and hope for the best. If she flakes day of, you are still going to be married to the move of your life and your wedding will still be beautiful and perfect. It sounds like she’s really struggling right now and you are a good friends for not pressing and pressuring her. I’d kind of mentally prepare for the possibility that she will flake but still hope and encourage the best.

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