(Closed) How to handle telling people "No Kids" When they ask?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
12973 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’d be as honest as you can – tell them either space or money creates an issue.  Stand firm on your decision to have no children, and keep it as a hard and fast rule so there are no hurt feelings.

Post # 4
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Keep it short and simple. Saying sorry, we cannot accommodate them is perfectly fine. If you start listing reasons you could face arguments (if you cite money, they could offer to pay, ifyou citesolace, they could claim that kids don’t take up much space).

Post # 5
Member
3266 posts
Sugar bee

As usual, I agree with @futuremrsfitz18

Don’t give them an explanation (they aren’t owed one). 

I’m sorry that won’t be possible is short and too the point.

You: Hi Aunt Bertha, I noticed that on your RSVP you indicated that little Timmy would be coming.  Unfortunately, there seems to have been a misunderstanding.  It won’t be possible to include him.

Her: But Timmy loves weddings

You: I’m sorry that won’t be possible

Her:  But we can’t get child care

You: I’m sorry, but it won’t be possible.

Her: But he is surgically attached to my breast

You: I’m sorry it won’t be possible.  Fritz and I hope you can still make it.  Hope to see you there.  Got to go, the cat’s on fire.

Post # 6
Member
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

We have a wedding website with FAQ’s.

What about kids?

We would like to celebrate our love, and the love between the couples we consider close to us. We hope this would be one for our guests to enjoy a date night with their significant other and with us. Given that this is a formal, late-night event with drinking, dancing and adult merry-making, we are not inviting children apart from those in our bridal party.


Post # 7
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@Buboys_Gurl:  Love this!  I may have to add it to our website!  🙂

Post # 9
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I would just stick with “Unfortunately, we cannot accommodate children.”

If they ask further: “I’m sorry, but we cannot accommodate children.”  Repeat as necessary.

Post # 10
Member
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@ASDF:  Thanks!

 

Instead of just saying no kids allowed, we tried to give it a more positive spin by saying that this is their chance to go out and have fun without the kids in tow.

 

Post # 12
Member
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I don’t think there is a best way you can do it without pissing people off.  Some people get it and others don’t.  Fiance has a huge family and they are extremely close so I couldn’t do no kids.  In the FAQ section of our page I indicated that we were only able to extend an invitation to kids in our immediate family.  People that will be invited that have kids, I gave them a heads up before they saw the page that we couldn’t accomodate kids outside the family.  No one thus far as had a problem with it.

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