(Closed) How to handle this

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Congrats on your engagement, and I’m very sorry to hear about your cousin.

Make your plans, figure out a sensitive time to make the announcement about your engagement, and let your bridesmaid cousin decide if she can still attend your fitting.  If she can’t, just find someone else to help you or take care of it yourself.  I went to all but my last fitting by myself, and that was just to make sure that someone knew how to bustle my dress.  It’s not that big of a deal, really.

Let attention focus on your cousin as needed for now.  The only time you should really expect a big fuss is on your actual wedding day, anyway.

Certainly invite them if they were going to be on your guest list, and be flexible if they can’t RSVP until the last minute.  Let them decide if they want and are able to attend.

Post # 4
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

It would be even more painful for your cousin and her family to be cut off from joyous family events during this time, so definitely invite them. 

Announce your engagement in a couple of weeks. Cancer is a long process, and I hope your young cousin will be able to fight this for a long time. Sometimes people will want to talk about something other than chemo and prognosis and illness, and your engagement might be a welcome relief. Don’t expect a lot of help from your cousins during your engagement, and be grateful for whoever can make it on your wedding day, and you’ll be fine.  

Post # 5
847 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

@Grandiflora:  I’m sorry this is happening to you. I know how how frustrating it can be when you feel upset that you can’t have the attention your happy day deserves and how guilty it makes you to feel this way. 

I’d say that maybe you should try to plan your wedding in a respectful way. Ask your BM’s mum if it would be okay if she spent at least some time with you over Spring break so that you can get her dress fitted etc. I know that you’re probably bursting to tell everyone but try not to focus things too much on yourself. 

Sorry you’re going though this. 

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