(Closed) How to handle this girl

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Kill her with kindness. I’m all for being a bitch, but the whole kill-with-kindness thing is way more effective. Just be obscenely nice.

“Ann! You look so pretty tonight! I love your blouse!” Do it enough, and she won’t be able to be a bitch anymore. If anything, she’ll look like the bad guy for not being kind to you.

Post # 4
Member
670 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I would have a come to Jesus meeting with her ASAP! What she is doing/did is ridiculous. I would present the facts to her as you did us, hopefully showing how silly almost ‘boiled bunny’ behavior she is carrying out is just not cool. 

I think if you talk to her in a calm, matter of fact way, (not being upset). Is the way to go.

What does your husband say about the matter? Does he have an opinion?

Post # 5
Member
999 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

If I had an ex crush who was nice to me but rude to my Fiance/husband then they are not worth keeping friendship with. 

Post # 6
Member
1348 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Well, there is a mind trick you could try.

As you guys all hang out together, ask her for a favour. One that she’ll have to say yes to or face looking like a bitch. I read once that when people who dislike you do things for you, it tricks them into thinking they like you, because why else would they have done something nice for you? It’s manipulative, but it won’t make things worse. I remember reading that a scientist did this once and it apparently worked very well.

Otherwise, just stop trying. If she’s being borderline bitchy just say ‘what’s your problem?’, but in a friendly sort of way (put empahsis on ‘your’ and smile when you say it). I doubt she’ll continue acting like a brat once you’ve called her out on it, she had the opportunity right then to air any grievences and yet, because of social ettiquette I really doubt she’d say ‘i don’t like you because blah blah blah’. It’s sort of a ‘speak now or forever hold your piece!’

Post # 7
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m kind of the same way (people pleaser), but at some point I realized that it’s just going to be impossible to be friends with everyone. Be kind and polite, but I don’t think you need to go out of your way to be friends with her. Does your husband know how you feel about her?

Post # 8
Member
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I would probably ignore her.  I think it would bother me if my Darling Husband was friends with someone who was a jerk to me.  Or, I would be the bigger person and not feel like she is a threat and just be nice to her… not sure!

Post # 9
Member
999 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Dont do anything different! Its not you, you are not doing anything wrong. But let your fiance know how you feel and maybe next time he can see for himself how she is being with you. After  your fiancé sees how she is, he will feel different and maybe eventually cut ties. He needs to witness for himself.

The last thing you want to do is be rude back or confront her. She probably wants that. Don’t give her the satisfaction that shes getting to you. Good luck!

Post # 12
Member
999 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Can you imagine..It’s probably killing her to see you and your fiance happy…remind yourself when shes cold. She’s most likely jealous. Your fiancé and you can not control how people treat you. Ignore her, just be polite and move forward.

Post # 13
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@carolsdaughter:  I would stand your ground and kill her with kindness & compassion. From what you have said, it sounds like she maybe jealous and still has feelings for your husband. It sucks having feelings for someone that does not return it. 

Post # 14
Member
4659 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@the_future_mrs:  THIS THIS THIS. I had a situation with a serious boyfriend where he was friends with a girl who had had a pining longing adoring crush on him for YEARS. I knew he didn’t return her feelings but was cool with her as a friend. I spoke to him in private about it, and in public, I put on a show of being so awesome to her…

You know what’s interesting too? I was sort of faking it at first but we eventually became friendly for real. She genuinely warmed to me despite her obsession with my boyfriend. You never know, it could happen to you! Being awesome to people can have good effects, even if you’re doing it with an ulterior motive, haha.

Post # 15
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

This sort of happened between my Maid/Matron of Honor and her boyfriend (he was also one of our groomsmen).

My Maid/Matron of Honor, Minde, couldn’t stand this chick Taylor. Taylor came over to my house to see Minde’s horse, with Minde’s boyfriend.. Minde didn’t like that because she had never met this random chick..

Long story short; though, Minde ended up asking Taylor to a lunch and they got over their differences. Turned out that Taylor didn’t have any real interest in Minde’s boyfriend, and Taylor ended up being in our group of friends, bestfriends with Minde, and even one of my bridesmaids. 

So,.. if you play nice.. or even invite her to a lunch to “get over your differences”,.. it might turn out to be a good thing and she’ll end up liking you in the end. 

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