Post # 1
so my Fiance and I decided that since we have such huge families we needed to limit our guest list to all family, including first cousins, and their significant others, as well as our close friends and their siginificant others. We have decided we are not giving plus ones to those that are not in commited relationships. It’s the only way we can really cut on numbers since our venue has limited space, and because of budget restrictions.
I sent a message to a good friend of mine who I have not spoken to in awhile, and who lives away. I told him he that him and his gf (of about 4 years ) would be invited to the wedding and I would love if he could send me his address.
Hey Mrs.H2B. I’d love to be part of the celebrations. Mailing address is ….. ….. ….. It would be me + guest though. Girlfriend and I broke up a few weeks ago. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. Anyway, all the best.
How should I respond to this ? I can’t really give him a guest since I will be inviting other singles without guests and they would probably question this.. but I know it’s a really awful time to mention it considering his realationship just ended. What would you do?
Post # 3
@Mrs.H2B: Just tell him “I’m so sorry to hear that you and Girlfriend broke up. I hope you’re doing okay and look forward to seeing you at the wedding”. When you send the invitation, if he’s not dating anyone new, then just don’t write “& guest” on his invitation and he should get the hint. If he RSVPs for 2 people (instead of 1), you can address it then.
Post # 4
agreed. you should just address it to him and maybe do the whole “we have reserved 1 seat in your honor” style invites, not only so he gets the hint, but so that all the others who don’t get +1s understand as well. hopefully. sometimes people still assume haha.
Post # 5
I would do the “We have reserved 1 seat in your honor”. But you never know, by the time your wedding rolls around, there may be a new Ms. Right in his life?
Post # 6
I would say that because he lives far away and would be travelling, you should be so kind to consider him. However, I do see your situation though and can understand but I believe compassion is what you should give him. You either need to address it now while you are in conversation with him regarding this, because if you don’t it could go bad and he may decide not to go so close to your wedding or you allow him to bring a guest. Perhaps, the guest he would bring would be a brother/sister. Maybe its someone you know and would delighted to know they would be coming as his guest.
There are many factors to consider here…does he know anyone else attending the wedding who he is good friends with? I wouldn’t attend someones wedding far away going single.
Who knows, he may decide to attend alone anyways. But you should leave that choice up to him.
And “Hey Mrs.H2B. I’d love to be part of the celebrations. Mailing address is ….. ….. ….. It would be me + guest though. Girlfriend and I broke up a few weeks ago. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. Anyway, all the best.”
They dated for 4 years. Thats a long time. They could get back together and she could still attend.
I would put “______ and Guest”.
Post # 7
what about asking him if he would like to bring someone?
you don’t have to invite him with a guest, but I think it is nice to invite out of town guests with a date.
Post # 9
@Mrs.H2B: You text him back:
Sorry to hear about Girlfriend. Her loss. I’ll make sure that my seating plan puts you between two gorgeous, smart, unattached single ladies!
That will let him know that you are taking care of your single guests to make sure none of us get stuck as the odd-man-out at the “misfits” table — you know, the table that has all married couples with no conversation except with each other, and a family of three who have brought their gauch seventeen-year-old son leaving one spare place at the table where an inconvenient “single” can be stuck. That’s the spectre that makes us cast around desperately for any alternative even if the alternative is the guy I picked up in the hotel bar while waiting for the happy couple to finish their photo-shoot.
And it will also hint — a hint you will confirm by putting his name alone on his invitation — that you will be inviting him singly. If Girlfriend does waltz back into the picture, he’ll have to send you a message of “Hey, good news, Girlfriend and I patched things up” and you can send her her own invitation at that point.