(Closed) How to handle this?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What would you do?
    RSVP no : (62 votes)
    94 %
    RSVP for myself only : (1 votes)
    2 %
    RSVP for FH and myself : (2 votes)
    3 %
    something else : (1 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2859 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2011 - Bartram's Garden

    I would just RSVP that I wasn’t going. But WOW, I can’t believe it doesn’t even have a stamp.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2641 posts
    Sugar bee

    Honestly, if I was presented with a situation like yours, I’d probably just decline.  It sounds like you really don’t know her. 

    But if you do really want to go, and end up asking her, let us know how it goes. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    1927 posts
    Buzzing bee

    My husband recently also got an invitation to a wedding from a coworker (whom he barely knows).  It was only addressed to my husband, the RSVP not only didn’t have a stamp but didn’t have an envelope!!  BUT.. they were sure to include an enclosure card with all their registry information.  I told my husband to decline and hand the card to the groom in person…

    Post # 8
    Member
    14186 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I wouldn’t go nor send a gift for someone i am only barely acquaintances with.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1580 posts
    Bumble bee

    I wouldn’t go. If you want to give her a gift, then go for it, but I don’t think you have to.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1426 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    I wouldn’t go or send a gift, especially if you are so distant that you don’t even have any contact info for her.

    Post # 11
    Member
    647 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I wouldn’t go, especially if you’re just acquaintances, and there’s no reason to send a gift if you don’t want to.

    But just so you know, etiquette does not dictate that she include stamped RSVP cards for people to reply.  She’s not bound by etiquette to even supply RSVP cards themselves; these became a trend to encourage guests to reply, but guests are supposed to know how to reply properly to invitations without being prompted (according to Ms. Manners).

    Post # 12
    Member
    106 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I wouldn’t go or send a gift. (:

    Post # 13
    Member
    950 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I wouldn’t go unless I knew I was going to have a good time with other friends who are going.  If I didn’t go, I wouldn’t send a gift – mostly because I wouldn’t/haven’t sent gifts to people I know only in passing.  If it were a friend I’d hung out with on my own, I’d send a gift.

    Post # 14
    Member
    837 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Just RSVP no

    Post # 15
    Member
    136 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I would RSVP “No”, and I wouldn’t send a gift, but I’d send a “congratulations” card.

    Post # 16
    Member
    7173 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    Do you want to go? 

    If so, I do think it’s a bit odd that she wouldn’t invite your husband and think it was an oversight.  Was there an inner envelope address to just you?  If you want to go – I’d send the RSVP card back and add a note asking if she intended to invite your husband or not and include your email and phone number so she could let you know.  But, keep in mind, that if she comes back and says no, she can’t accommodate him, then you are flying solo to the wedding.

    (Phew, that’s a lot of work!)

    If you don’t want to go – then, you know what to do 🙂  

    The topic ‘How to handle this?’ is closed to new replies.

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