(Closed) How to handle Wedding Gossip!?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think let Future Mother-In-Law deal with this. I think some grandparents didn’t do the whole invites and rsvp thing for less formal events and she might not know the details of the party. I think Future Mother-In-Law should tell grammy no more inviting people to the “kids events” and she will hopefully back off. I think then a phone call is order for the confusion and tell them the invites are done and went out and she isn’t hosting the party, and they can’t be accommodated. Your sister has a budget, and is working hard and I think this will become a slippery slope if you make exceptions for them at this event, imagine what will happen with the invites for the actual wedding? Good luck!

ps: I think you handle this in a very graceful and classy way, there is nothing wrong being firm and polite which is what you seem to be doing.

Post # 4
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@candykiss:  I think you cleaned that up really well and diplomatically. You also took steps to avoid the same thing in the future and are willing to pay for the extra 2 guests. Good luck!

People will talk and you can’t control that, but you can control what and how the information is given to them in the first place. Handing over the guest list to Future Mother-In-Law, while thoughtful, implied that she could not only approve/disapprove of it, but also change it — adding or deleting guests. You need to choose when to step in to these situations if at all, and if so, choose a balance of courtesy with firmer instruction. Since your sister is hosting, perhaps it is she that should have directly contacted Future Mother-In-Law for approval, not you, freeing you of this awkward position, see? Also, no matter who gave the list to Future Mother-In-Law, if the list was prefaced with “no one is to be added as your sister is hosting” things might have turned out differently.

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