- 8 years ago
- Wedding: June 2010
I’ve posted about my momzilla several times, but this one is a little different. Despite the abusive way she sometimes treats me, I really do love my mom. I also recognize that she is clinically depressed – this runs in her family, for one, and she also is facing difficult circumstances that have made her feel like she’s lost control of her life. She has pushed everybody away and has lost her support system. She lives in a new city and doesn’t know anybody there. She is very abusive towards my father who has sort of stuck by her, but has lost any ability to show her compassion because of what she puts him through. At this point I am one of the only people that is still trying to help her, but I am reaching the end of my rope with it, as she constantly holds me responsible for her happiness and makes me feel guilty about everything. It is starting to come between me and my fiance, and it has long since killed my enthusiasm for my own wedding. I want it to be a happy day, but I know that with her there, I will be a nervous wreck and she will probably make me feel terrible the entire time.
My question to anyone who has suffered depression themselves, or who has seen a loved one go through it – how can I help her? I know I cannot do it myself – I live far away for one, and cannot be held responsible for my mom’s happiness – it WILL ruin my life if I continue to let this consume me the way it does now. I do not want to give up on her like everyone else has, but I don’t know how much more abuse I can take. I know that she needs to be on medication and needs to receive counseling, but at this point she is blaming her circumstances and insists that popping pills or talking to a therapist won’t change the bad things in her life. What can I do for her? How can I maintain a relationship with her but keep her from ruining what should be a very happy and special time in my own life?