(Closed) How to help my fiance grieve?

posted 5 years ago in Pets
Post # 16
5938 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

And PS, he was so super cute! He looks like he has a built in smile!!

Post # 18
273 posts
Helper bee

Oh man, I cried for your Fiance reading that. I’m so sorry that you lost your little guy. My 15 year old dog died shortly after my Fiance and I moved in together. I was heartbroken and one of the most comforting gestures came from an unexpected source. DH’s ex sent me flowers in memory of my dog. It wasn’t the flowers themselves, it was the gesture and the acknowledgement of my loss. I felt that most people were thinking she was just an old sick dog. Having my grief validated and treated seriously and compassionately really helped. It sounds like you’re doing a great job of being there for your Fiance

Post # 19
1325 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2015 - Mount Hermon

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herrera2016:  I know this is probably silly, but my mom bought me a book when our dog died when I was four.  It helped me understand.  As an adult, the dog I grew up with died last March and I bought a new copy of the book.  Reading it was very comforting.

It’s called Dog Heaven. http://www.amazon.com/Dog-Heaven-Cynthia-Rylant/dp/0590417010

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lolot:  That is beautiful.  I’m on the verge of tears.

Post # 20
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

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herrera2016:  These are such nice ideas, you are very thoughtful and caring. I’m very sorry about what you are going through though, losing a beloved pet is hard but especially if it is unexpected and particularly traumatic. 

Another thing that maybe you could both do is write. When my dog was in intensive care and they thought his condition was terminal and that we would lose him within the week, I wrote about my dog: about his good heart, all his best qualities, about how my love for him grew over time, about the adventures he’d had, about everything I wished that heaven would be like for him, and about how I knew we would be together again one day. It wasn’t for anybody in particular, but it was carthartic to get it all out, and it felt good to have a ‘record’ of sorts of what an amazing dog he is, so I would never forget. It all depends on if writing is therapeutic for you or Fiance, of course, but it helped me and hopefully it would be helpful to you too.

Post # 21
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Aw, I’m so so sorry. I teared up just reading about this. Unfortunately there’s nothing you can do to fix this (which is frustrating as hell, right??) but it sounds like you did your best to spare your Fiance as much pain as possible. Loss is a part of life, and we are built to endure loss as much as we are built to enjoy love. Time will heal, and your Fiance will grieve in his way and at his own pace. All you need to do is listen when needed and give him some extra love and attention as he grieves. I wish you both the very best and hope that when you’re ready, you’ll provide a loving home to another animal in need. You seem like very sweet and wonderful people with a lot of love to give. *hugs*

Post # 23
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

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herrera2016:  *hugs* to you and your Fiance. It’s heartbreaking to lose a pet. My DH and I lost our beloved Pomeranian in a freak accident about 6 weeks ago. I was absolutely shattered the first few days, but I can assure you that it does get better with time. I still occasionally have flashbacks to when she died, but now I mostly remember the great times that we had with her. One of the things that really helped my DH and I grieve was to sit down and write a letter to our pup – in the letter we told her about how much we loved her, we recapped our favorite memories of her, and promised her that one day we’d see her at the rainbow bridge. Perhaps something like this would help your FI? 

Post # 24
9123 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

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MrsYellowDaffodil:  I know, it makes me cry every time  <3

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