- 4 years ago
I have posted before about bridesmiad goings-on and now I need some true ADVICE! A relative of mine is a bridesmaid and of course (just as most women are) she was excited that I asked her to be a bridesmaid. My Maid/Matron of Honor was in contact with her about some bridal shower/bachelorette stuff and according to my Maid/Matron of Honor she was very in to the planning of these events and was throwing out some rather large (and expensive) ideas. Since then contact has been minimal to nill not only amongst her and the other girls but also between her and I. All the girls live in different places and all know me from different times in my life, i.e. high school, college, family etc. so there’s not a sense of an us versus them thing amongst them. Before the engagement my cousin and I generally texted eachother to keep in touch so I assumed that keeing that same form of communication would be fine now. I and the Maid/Matron of Honor are always aware of the time difference that we are working with when calling her, but no matter how convenient I (or my MOH) make the texts or calls they go largely unanswered.
Important information dealing with measurements and pricing are being discussed right now. I am not hitting her or the other girls with a constant borage emails/texts/incoming calls about “Do you like dress A, B, or C?” I need their approval on how much something is going to cost them or when they need to pay the deposit, get measurements to me….important and time sensitive info. Everyone else is on the same page but her because she doesn’t ever get back to me about things. This is all I need on their end…to get the outfits squared away. I won’t need to bother them with any other wedding details unless they ask and just want to know. They are not like little helpers assisting me plan my wedding…it’s not that kind of bridal party situation. Do I vent to them sometimes…sure but no one should feel weighed down by this wedding process.
I called a quick conference call to get opinions on the type of shoe price-point they were comfortable with and the timeline for their dress deposits. I made it a time that was late (for a week day) for everyone else to accomodate her getting off of work. She never answered her phone and 3 days later still hasn’t bothered to call or text to see what was going on. I have talked to her before and she has said work and boy troubles have got her down…..so I tried to talk to her about it but she doesnt think I can weigh in on the dilemma becasue “you got someone to propose to me so how could you relate.” If she is feeling depressed and is retreating from the world then..talk to me about it, if things are getting kind of expensive for the wedding then…talk to me about it, if you are too busy to weigh in on decisions then…LET ME KNOW THAT! Don’t NOT answer your phone, that is rude. I understand feeling depressed and shutting things out. But she is still going out and having fun so to me it just seems more like she doesn’t want to be bothered with JUST my stuff because I know (because of the family gossip mill, lol) she is still living an eventful young adult life right now. I want to kind of confront her, but I can’t because I hardly can get in contact with her to begin with.
Soooo now what do I do?