- 6 years ago
Anonymous so that it is not associated with my other account. As from my only post under this account, my father had a substantial life insurance policy when he passed. My brother and I became aware that my mother (parents divorced) had gotten herself into 12k credit card debt (statement was out on her counter once), which she can’t afford and will likely never pay off.
When my parents were still together, she also got into substantial credit card debt. She was the person managing the finances however, so my dad was never aware. Once he became aware, that is one of the wedges it caused between them and they were forced to refinance the house to pay it off.
As part of the divorce, she got the house (sold, and had substantial profit to put down in savings, buy a car, and down payment for her townhouse). She did good for a while by getting rid of all of her CCs, but it’s definitely an addiction. THere is absolutely no excuse for the size of the balance on her CCs. She constantly has new items in her house and is constantly updating/painting/renovating her townhome. All cosmetic.
Because my brother and I received so much money, we want to clear her debt for her. But we wanted to be sure that this wouldn’t happen again, because she obviously needs to fix the problem, not resolve the results. We had a bit of an intervention with her, told her we wanted to help her out of it, but that she neeeded to refinance the house because rates are so low (we’d pay for that). Then we’d pay the debt. But she needs to eliminate credit cards, and reduce the limit on the one she keeps. We left all on the same page. She was a bit caught of guard, but receptive.
Now, two weeks later, when we were supposed to meet again, we asked her how she was coming along with the bank paperwork and her response is that she isn’t 12 and doesn’t like being bullied. Which we aren’t trying to do. We just need this done so we know how much money it will take, because currently all of this cash is sitting in our accounts, and we want to move it.
Did we handle it poorly? Should we have done something different? I believe at this point her stubborness and pride will be in the way of accepting the help she needs to get out of this debt pit, I don’t know how to move forward, and I understand why she was caught off guard, but how she can refuse to pay off the debt and just keep living with it watching it accumulate each month blows my mind.