- 4 years ago
- Wedding: July 2014
So let me preface this by saying I wouldn’t care at all if it weren’t a health issue. My FI is 6′ tall and used to be very fit. He was a competitive high school and college athlete. Since then, he hasn’t done much at all after an injury in a men’s league soccer game. This injury was 5 years ago now and he’s completely fine. When we got back together after years apart (we met before I left for college), he was disc golfing every single day and was on the thin but still muscular side of his normal weight. Then winter came and it snowed all the time and he started playing computer games with his friends online instead. He was eating chicken nuggets and fries every single day and drinking a bunch of sodas and energy drinks. He gained about 40lbs in six months if not more. Despite this, he’s still drop dead gorgeous and I love him and am attracted to him. Weight isn’t the issue at all. He carries his weight well and it mostly just made his sexy calves bigger and his nice ass even fuller to grab onto. Mmm. ahahahaha.
He was getting a lot of headaches so I told him to get his blood pressure checked and he has been on medication for over a year now for high blood pressure. He’s 29. His doctor absolutely sucks and made it out to be “not a big deal” and never advised him on dietary changes in specific (such as that he needs to STOP with hte energy drinks and eat low sodium meals). He told her he had gained a lot of weight and that he was going to work on that. They never discussed a plan and she never told him just how much weight he should lose for a healthy weight based on his frame and height. (Can you tell I’m a nurse lol). He was supposed to only be on the medication for six months, in which time he was expected to “lose weight”.
Our wedding is next July and he has told me he wants to lose weight. But, he thinks hacky sacking for 30 minutes at lunch with his work friends (I’m not joking ahahah) plus walking the dog up the street a few times an evening is enough. It isn’t. He doesn’t know how to cook (I do our cooking most of the time but I work later in the evenings so we don’t eat until 7:30-8PM if I cook) so he just eats frozen chicken nuggets and fries. I tried explaining that potatoes and corn aren’t vegetables– they’re starches/grains and they don’t count. Basically…I’m just trying to explain all the nutritional tips that I forget people who didn’t take a nutrition class in school might not know. His mindset of a diet is just to eat less fried food which isn’t really it. Yeah, that would help, but adding protein, removing all soda/sugar/processed junk snacks, and increasing water intake are also very important. Every time he sees a photo of himself, he talks about how bad his stomach looks and how tight his shirt looks in the middle. While its not noticeable and NOBODY even thinks he’s heavy, he sees it. I know what it’s like to not feel comfortable and I don’t want him to be in this position with our wedding photos. He hasn’t gone for his suit yet and we’re planning on doing vests (it’s an outdoor summer wedding) and I just know he isn’t goign to feel good.
I guess my question is just… how would you handle it? I don’t want to make him feel bad at all (I told you– I think he’s sexy and perfect) but I do think that his weight gain IS diet/sedentary lifestyle related and it is impacting his health ina serious and negative way. I want him to be healthy. I want him to CARE about being healthy and decreasing his risk of heaart attack, stroke, and heart disease. I want him around to grow old with. And, I want him to feel confident adn handsome at our wedding– exactly the way I see him.
I am the one trying to get us to exercise on the weekends (we went ice skating iwth a big group of people and we’re supposed t o go snow shoeing. In the warmer months, we go hiking, walkign on the trails, etc.) but he obviously needs something more. While I’m actually trying to GAIN 10lbs right now, I still crave exercise and want to be more fit. I suggest a lot of things but in the winter in New England, the temps have been below or at 0 and so anything athletic has to be indoors. We don’t have a gym membership because neither of us would use it (he is VERY adament about this) so I’m sort of at a loss. Does anyone have any tips on fitness stuff they do with their partner that we could try? Do you guys take classes? Stuff on your own? And how do you handle your meals in your house? Has anyone had to try and cook for someone who is trying to lose weight while they’re trying to gain? Any help would be greatly appreciated! I just want to help him WITHOUT making a big deal out of it AND by engaging in the process WITH him. I’m willing to step out of my comfort zone and try any new activity too!