(Closed) How to honor FI's deceased father at wedding?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
860 posts
Busy bee

You could do a In Honor of Table where you have pictures of people that have past away that you which could be there for the wedding. You could decorate it really nicely with some candles.

Or you could have your Fiance about his dads favorite music and play an appropriate song that he also loved for the Mother and Son dance. 

Post # 3
Member
2626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Hogarths, Solihull

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dtb520 :  I would talk to your Fiance about this first. 

FI’s dad also passed away last year, so I know you want to honour him but my Fiance is totally against it because he doesn’t want to draw attention to him not being there. 

Your Fiance may be different, but I would see what he is comfortable with first. 

Mentioning it with his mums gift sounds lovely, perhaps a heartfelt letter or card along with the gift?

x

Post # 4
Member
2657 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I definitely second speaking with your Fiance. My Father-In-Law passed away suddenly about 18 months before our wedding and Darling Husband didn’t want to do anything that drew too much attention to the fact that his dad wasn’t there.

I had been planning on including some photographs of those who had passed (ie DH’s grandmothers and one set of my grandparents) on our gift/guest book table but decided to not even do this as Darling Husband didn’t want his father’s photo included. I carried photos of my grandparents in my bouquet instead.

Post # 5
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Sunset Beach Resort, Siesta Key

I’m struggling with this as well. My mom passed away and I want to mention her in our ceremony but I’ve seen so many mixed reviews on it. 

We’re for SURE doing a giant candle that will be lit all night in her honor with a sign of some sort – I’ve seen a lot of sweet ones on etsy. 

I really do want to mention her in the ceremony though and if you feel strongly about it then I think you should too! 🙂 It’s like I can’t imagine her not being acknowledged that day and I’m sure you both feel the same about Darling Husband father as well. 

Post # 7
Member
7640 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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dtb520 :  Are you or Fiance giving a speech? I think that’s the best time – say something during the speeches.

I’m not keen on a table of photographs, because it’s a permanent reminder. By mentioning him in the speeches, there’s a solemn moment where he’s remembered, and then you all move on and celebrate the day (as I’m sure he would have wanted).

Post # 8
Member
2657 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

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dtb520 :  If your Fiance is all for it, this is a different situation entirely! My Mother-In-Law did speak about Father-In-Law during the short speech she gave at our wedding – she spoke about how proud Father-In-Law would be of Darling Husband and how happy he would be that we were married (DH and I had been dating almost 8 years when Father-In-Law passed away). DH’s wedding ring was his father’s too, so he carries a bit of his dad with him everyday, which Mother-In-Law also touched on in her speech.

Post # 9
Member
9166 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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dtb520 :  

Yes indeed if Fiance is for it, mention him lovingly in the ceermony and/or  speeches. I don’t myself,  care for the memorial table idea  as it seem inapproriate for a wedding . Talking about the beloved lost ones ( at any time )  seems somehow different .

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