Post # 1
im writing for some advice/ideas regarding a special little girl in my life, my 9 year old goddaughter.
My fiancé and I have opted to not have a wedding party, but I am struggling with excluding my goddaughter. I feel she is a little too old to be a flower girl, but too young to be a junior bridesmaid. Plus, with no real bridesmaids it seems silly to have a junior bridesmaid.
I am trying to think of a way to include her in our special day. We are also not inviting anyone under the age of 21 to our wedding, so I don’t want to cause any ripples by simply (and only) extending an invitation to her… I feel that I need/and would like to give her a role of some kind to allow her to be a part of our day.
Does anyone have any thoughts or suggestions on what we could do for her?
Post # 2
How about her being your ring bearer?
Post # 3
I really don’t think 9 is too old for a flower girl!!
Just pick an age appropriate dress, give her the choice of what she wants to carry and call it a day.
One random flower girl doesn’t really constrain wedding party and it sounds like she is important to you
Post # 4
I think if you aren’t having kids at the wedding it is hard to honour her. Sorry to be blunt, but the easiest way is by including her. I saw someone here call a 10 year old a flowermaid and though that was adorable!!!
Post # 5
I think that your love for her and her inclusion in the day will be an honor. Many people who get married and already have kids don’t give them a “formal” role, but the day is a happy occasion for both kids and adults.
I certainly don’t think 9 is too old for a flower girl. But you also don’t have to give her a title, just let her walk down the isle before you. She could carry a bouquet instead of throwing down petals if you want.
You could also skip the ceremony formality but have a special dance with her during the celebration. I think that could be really special to her especially if you were to take her to dancing lessons for a “date night” before the wedding
I think whatever you choose to do will be perfect and don’t worry about other people who are sour about kids not being invited- this child has a special place in your heart and it’s your day to celebrate with those closest to you.
Post # 6
I guess I don’t see the huge desire to have her there if no other children are allowed to come?
Post # 7
I had actually considered this (not calling her that, but that being her job) since we aren’t having a party!
Post # 8
well, the back story is that her mother (one of my best friends) was a single mom and I was the only person who stuck by her throughout her entire pregnancy. That, paired for the first almost 3 years of my goddaughter’s life, I was helping my best friend raise her until she met a wonderful man, who is now her husband and has adopted my goddaughter. So, we have a very special bond that’s a little unusual. 🙂
But, your point is valid because I don’t want kids there for a reason and that’s the part of it I’m struggling with. She’s old enough to be disappointed she isn’t invited, but understanding. I’m just trying to decide if I want to let it be, or turn it into something.
Post # 9
that’s really sweet! A great idea!
Post # 10
Set up a special day for just the two of you to celebrate. Honestly, at 9, I’d rather do that than sit through a wedding!!!