Post # 1
- Wedding: November 2019 - City, State
A short bit of background: My parents are divorced and both remarried, so I have 4 parents. I have good relationships with all of them, surprisingly. I’m not worried about the two sets of parents being in the same room – I know they’ll all be civil, if a little awkward maybe in the beginning, but I really think it will be fine.
Where I get stuck is this: how I do include both dads equally? My bio-Dad is wonderful, but he wasn’t really around for much of my childhood (workaholic). I’ve worked through a lot of hurt that was created by not really having any memories with him, but as an adult I feel like we have a really great relationship now, even though I only get to see him once a year (he lives across the country). My stepdad is also a wonderful man, and has been so insanely supportive and really stepped in to fill a lot of holes when I was in my late teens. He and I are very similar people and we get along great, and I would love to include him in some fashion. I also only get to see him about once a year (also lives across the country). My bio-Dad is a pretty sentimental guy, so I know the wedding will be important to him. But I respect and love my stepdad as well, and even if he’s not as emotional about it I feel it’s important to highlight him.
I realize I have an abnormal situation in that I love all my parents and no one is a problem, lol. But…that seems to be coming with issues nonetheless. I’ve considered having one dad walk me down the aisle, and then I’ll dance with the other? Something like that? I honestly didn’t really want someone to give me away anyway, and my FH is Catholic so they often don’t have a father walk down the aisle – but if it opens up a new space for participation maybe it’s worth it? I’m really not sure, but I’d like to have some ideas to pitch to them and see what they want to do. Has anyone else run into this? How did you handle this situation?
Post # 2
Hmmm… who is paying? Or equal contribution from both families? If equal then maybe have them both give you away if you’re doing that.
Your biological dad could walk you down the aisle as a nod to his birth right, then have both men stand to give you away.
Then let them both say something during toast (biological dad first), and then give both a father daughter dance… or have your step dad “cut in” so they share a dance…. But only if they both agree to the last.
If your biological dad is primarily footing the bill, then they shouldn’t be equal in my opinion, but, you can still recognize your step dad in your toast and have a special dance with him.
Post # 3
- Wedding: November 2019 - City, State
Both sides of my family are contributing pretty equally, so there’s not really a clear answer for that part. I’d have to ask the church if they would even allow two fathers to give someone away – I have no idea.
But I definitely like the idea of them both getting to do toasts – I hadn’t even thought of that. Thank you!
Post # 4
You could have them both walk you down, or have your dad walk you down and meet your step dad half way etc., Have two daddy/daughter dance (i would shorten them up though)
However, i had my Step dad and Mom walk in together to start the precession and then my dad walk me down the aisle. I did my dance with my dad and my step dad did a speech.
Post # 5
Hey Bee! I also have two dads because my parents divorced when I was so young and then remarried. Like you, I have a great relationship with both my dad and step das and I have a wedding to plan!
I asked around a lot. My plan is to have my dad officiate and my step dad walk me down. If my dad wasn’t officiating, I was going to either walk with both or just walk by myself. And for the father daughter dance, I’m doing a half or short song with my dad and another half or short song with my step dad.
Post # 6
- Wedding: May 2019 - Country/barn
I’m going to have my step dad walk me half way down the aisle to my father who will be waiting. He will walk me to my groom.