(Closed) How to include her?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

If I were you, I’d just keep her as involved as she wants to be (which is sounds like you’re totally doing), and think about giving her a small appreciation gift and a very thoughtful card right before the wedding, in which you express how grateful you are to have her in your life.  If you want to have her involved on the day of the wedding, you should think about finding a small task for her like being a welcome attendant. This is what my Maid/Matron of Honor did for me at her wedding 4 years ago.  We met and became incredibly close friends after she had started planning her wedding and chosen BMs.  I was more helpful and involved in her planning than her MOH!  She really wanted to have me involved on the day-of, so she asked me to welcome guests, help them get seated, and I even made sure that her aisle runner got put out (the site coordinator forgot!).  I’m not sure this sort of duty will be perfect for you and you’re friend, but it’s a great example of how a small duty can be very nice!  My Maid/Matron of Honor and I are now super close, and I love that I was able to help her at her wedding, even in a small way.

Post # 5
990 posts
Busy bee

has she known you since dating/engagement? If so, I would suggest maybe asking her to do a reading or speech for your wedding and then giving her a special attendants gift. Being that supposrtive through a time such as this is very important and its great to have such a person by your side.

Post # 6
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think those are good suggestions.  If you trust her to serve as a DOC, that’s be a really nice way of showing that you value her.  Or just including her in the bridal prep stuff might be nice too.  We’re getting ready in the bridal suite at the venue and I asked my Future Sister-In-Law (she’s married to FI’s older brother) to join us.  She’s welcome to get her hair/make-up done with us, and to have lunch.  So she’s not a Bridesmaid or Best Man because she and I didn’t get close until after I’d chosen people but she was really excited to be asked to at least be there for an important part of the day.

Post # 7
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Are you having a church ceremony? I had a coupleof girlfriends who I have gotten close to alot of the past couple of years and have really supported me throughtout my engagement. I asked them to carry up the gifts so that it wasn’t a big commitment but a way of including them and then therefore they will be able to celebrate with us at the rehersal as well.

Post # 8
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

My Maid/Matron of Honor is moving to London 3 weeks before my wedding to go to grad school.  It’s hard to be mad at her because I am so proud of her!  (She is coming back for the wedding weekend.)  But those 3 last weeks will undoubtedly be the crazy ones.  Bridesmaid or Best Man #2 will be filling in on all Maid/Matron of Honor duties in those weeks.  BMs #3 and #4 live in their own worlds, and Bridesmaid or Best Man #5 lives in CA.  I have asked a co-worker with whom I have become close if she would help me in those last few weeks if needed.  Nothing having to do with $, more like assembling Out of Town baskets, dropping them off, talking me off the ledge, etc.  If I do end up needing her assistance, I am going to buy her the same kind of necklace that I got the BMs. 

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