Post # 1
Hi hive! I want to include my Aunt (I will call her Aunt A) who has always been there for me as a second Mom (mine is not very nuturing) a mentor and now a friend, in my wedding in some way that will make her feel special and reflect how important she is to me. However, I don’t want to make her a bridesmaid – she is in her 40s and I am only having my sisters and one friend as bridesmaids. I also don’t want to offend my other Aunt (her sister, I will call her Aunt B) but Aunt A has spent a lot more time with me and we are much closer. I also don’t want to do anything that will openly offend my Mother, who I am including as little as possible since she is not very supportive of the wedding and me generally.
My initial thoughts are to have Aunt A do a reading in the ceremony, but I don’t know if this is special enough. Any ideas?!
Post # 3
A reading is a lovely idea. When you ask her, let her know how special she is to you and that you want her to have a special part in your wedding. I can’t imagine that having your aunt do a reading would offend aunt b or your mom. Best wishes.
Post # 4
Thanks for the input sudslover!
I have an update: I went to visit both my Aunts this past weekend. We went wedding dress shopping and talked about other weddings that they have gone to (I don’t have much experience with weddings, so I have been asking people about their experiences). Aunt A mentioned that at my Uncle’s wedding they asked her and Aunt B to do a reading and they felt that it was just a way to give them something to do without actually including them, and they were hurt by it! That threw me for a loop because usually being asked to do a reading is an honor, but if she views it that way it won’t be for her… So, I can either ask her to do the reading and try to explain to her that it is special, come up with something else, or not ask her to do anything…
Post # 5
Hm… that’s tough. If she doesn’t feel like it’s a special thing, then I would definitely steer clear of that.
Could you possibly have her there during your time of getting ready along with your mom, and maybe your other aunt if you think it would cause a problem for just one aunt to be there? Another possibility would be to write her a note explaining how much she’s meant to you and give it to her discreetly on your wedding day at some point (maybe even at the reception).
Post # 6
It was fortunate that during your shopping trip the conversation covered this topic! I think piglet has a a great idea in writing Aunt A a note, as I can’t think of another way to include your aunt without having her as part of your wedding party.
Post # 7
I like the note idea! It might be worth doing that even if you do have her in some other part of your wedding.
Doing a reading was the first thing that came to my mind too. The other way you could honor her to ask her to do a speech welcoming the groom to your family (unless a sister or someone else is already doing this) or just a general congrats, here’s a fun story about the bride kind of speech.
Post # 8
A reading would be nice, and I don’t think your mother would feel slighted.
Post # 9
I would try to include her in each aspect of planning- dress shopping, talk about flowers, etc. Just being included and made a part of the whole process should show how special she is to you.
If it’s not weird, I would invite her to be with you while you are getting ready/before the ceremony. Being close with the bride and ‘in’ on the details would mean a lot to me if I were her. Actions speak louder than words IMO.