(Closed) How To Include This on Shower Invite (Or Not Include at All) Help!

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I think the idea of something to the effect of, “Though it’s not traditional, since Miss Pudding is traveling to come to the shower if you’d prefer to send the gift to her home address so that it can travel more safely here it is: 

Post # 4
Member
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I don’t think that’s rude at all. It’s pretty common for people to mail gifts if they can’t attend and since it’s out of town it would make sense to have your address on it.

Post # 5
Member
46670 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Won’t these people already have your address as they are invited to the wedding?

Post # 6
Member
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@mrs_pudding_pop:  Our registries had options online for having gifts mailed to us.  The kept our address on file and out of town people we able to send things if they wished.

Post # 7
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@mrs_pudding_pop:  I didn’t plan this (since it was my shower) but my FSIL/BM wrote a cute little poem about sending things to the house (in GA) because my suitcase was too small…everyone complied and no one took issue with it. At the shower I opened cards (also received many gift cards there). My BM’s also printed a list (that I provided to them) of what gifts I’d already received in GA.

Post # 8
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@julies1949:  ps…re the address, your registries should all have your address on them electronically.

Post # 11
Member
2598 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@Americano:  I think it would be very rude to invite people to a shower and then tell them their gift offerings would be a burden to the recipient.

If you’re registered, the store should have your mailing address on file for people who want to send the gifts that way. 

If you really don’t want to have to deal with presents you have to transport back to your home, cancel the shower.

Post # 12
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Zhabeego:  I’m usually very traditional with most etiquette issues, but I definitely disagree with you on this one. Many people move away from their hometowns for work nowadays. I’ve found that almost none of my friends from high school, college AND post-college live in the same state, let alone the same town that they grew up in. Does that mean they shouldn’t be afforded to be showered with gifts by their loved ones (even if that means sending the gifts to their out-of-town home?!) I think this is a rule that’s evolving to support how families and weddings are changing…

Post # 13
Member
2598 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@phillybride61513:  A shower is not a requirement for a wedding.  No one is owed a shower.  I think its pretty outrageous to invite people to a shower – the purpose of which is to give a bride gifts and watch her open them – but instruct guests to mail the gifts so the bride won’t be inconvenienced. 

As I mentioned above, stores have your mailing info with your registries.  If you’re coming from out of town, some guests may think to just mail your gift, some might not.  But to tell them they should go to the trouble and expense of buying you a gift but you can’t be troubled to take it back home with you?  No.

Its this kind of thinking that’s led to the abomination that is the “virtual shower.”  Ugh.  Brides aren’t owed parties and gifts.  If they can’t be grateful and gracious about what and the way they receive them they should refrain from things like showers. 

Post # 14
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Where are you registering? Pretty much any store that offers wedding registries will ask for your address and give guests the option of shipping gifts to your home, so I don’t see the need to include the address on the invite. I’d hope the people you’re inviting to your shower are close enough to you that they would know you live in a different state than where the shower is taking place.

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