(Closed) How to incorporate a mother who has passed away into your wedding?

posted 12 years ago in Relationships
Post # 17
3525 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010


I’m very sorry about the loss of your mom. I really do understand. My daddy passed away when I was pretty young and it still brings tears to my eyes that he won’t be there to give me away. Anyway.

I’ve given this some thought because I really want to acknowledge him at the wedding and also the FI’s maternal grandmother who was such the sweetest person in the world. She completely embraced me without hesitation, you would think someone who was raised in a different time would not be as embracing of a inter-racial relationship. But she was SO good to me. Anyway.


There are some good ideas on About.com. Some girls chose to carry something in their bouquets. Some chose to leave a seat for them at the reception. Do whatever you feel is best for YOU. We’re going the route of having a small table on the side with a picture of my daddy and the FI’s grandparents. And just couple small tealights that we’ll keep lit all night. I think sometimes people are not too comfortable with the idea of having "death" at a wedding that is suppose to be a joyous occasion so we didn’t want it IN their face.

Best of luck. I truly believe my father will be there to celebrate with me on our wedding day.

Post # 18
378 posts
Helper bee

My father in law passed away unexpectedly two months before our wedding. Prior to the ceremony starting, my now-husband escorted his mom down the aisle, they stopped to get his sister, and they all went up to light a memorial candle. I detailed this in the ceremony program. Our colors were black, white and blue but up by the memorial candle I had a vase of red roses for every one of our passed relatives, and also detailed this in the program. It was powerful yet subtle, and I’m so glad I didn’t see them lighting the candle. I cried enough that day.

Post # 19
101 posts
Blushing bee

My fiances mom passed away unexpectadly in december and we are trying to figure something out for her, too.  I was going to get him a locket for his pocket with her picture.  we are also doing a rose on her seat and a memorial candle, as we have other close loved ones that we’ve lost but I like the moment of silence thing too.  She was FIs best friend, he is an only child and it just hasn’t been the same planning our wedding day without her here.  Thanks for the great ideas. 

Post # 19
2044 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
lawa306:  Omg i have a quilt made of my mother’s clothes and I want to do this so badly but I know I will bawl and cry the whole time if I do. We just had a seat saying resevered for the mother of the bride, et cetera, at my sister’s wedding and it made me cry so hard

Post # 21
4226 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

My Mother-In-Law passed away in 2007 (three years before I came into the picture). When my DH’s brother got married they had a photo of her at the head table. For our wedding (she was an artist in life) we used greeting cards she designed as our thank you cards.

Post # 22
694 posts
Busy bee

For my late father, we are leaving a single white rose where the father of the bride usually sits. First chair on the left side of the front row. You could do this for your Mom’s chair. 


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